the redish hair, which I inherited from my mom
two plait hairs, which I used to let swing in the air
even though I ponder why I did so
even now I can't figure out the reason why I had to do so
I stood up calmly from my school chair
holding my scissors so firmly
then, I cut off those plait hairs from me
I remember it was such a sunny day
i used to think I didn't want things called the future
I was so powerless that I couldn't choose any phrases
the smell on my way home was solely
kind to me
I felt like I could keep being alive
for some reasons, I thought so
in the classroom, somebody was laughting at me
it was such a sunny day, I remember
because those plait hairs were gone
I decided on cutting my arm
I cut it as much as I could
feeling like me wrapped in warmth
just like dancing with the arm covered with blood
you were not there anymore
nothing I could find around there
the Sun was too dazzling to me
I remember it was such a sunny day
I couldn't even cry out
the terra was so borderless, too much
everything was so beautiful for me
in white dress, away from the lining of people
which I couldn't join, I was singing a song a bit
had it been raining like today, I could have cried out
I remember it was such a sunny day
i used to think I didn't want things called the future
I was so powerless that I couldn't choose any phrases
the smell on my way home was solely
kind to me
I felt like I could keep being alive
for some reasons, I thought so
in the classroom, somebody was laughting at me
it was such a sunny day, I remember
初めて聴いたときの衝撃が忘れられません。
ここまでどストレートにリストカット、自傷の歌があるのかと。
「生きていけるそんな気がした」の解釈は悩ましいかったです。前向きなのか自虐的なのか。。。
「教室で誰かが笑ってた」
という部分からはいじめがあったのかとも考えられます。髪色と髪型を馬鹿にされたりとか、、、？教室内の衝撃的な出来事を淡々と歌っています。
そして全体的に「観察的な」歌だなぁと思います。
自分をどこか他人として見てて、体はそこにあってもふわっと魂が空にあるような感覚。
私はここにいないから、大丈夫。
私は私じゃないから、大丈夫。
私は生きてないから、大丈夫。
泣きたいときに聴く曲が増えました。