ALL lies.

Hello eveybody!!
Let's start with a fresh feeling!
I'll continue my diet and reach my new goal!
And my new goal is: I want to be anorexicly
thin! v(^-^)v YAAAAY~~~
So, let's start!!

Today I'll take LAXOBERAL, then I won't
eat anything for 5 days and YAY! Then that's
about it. Afterwards I won't eat as well! Woot!
I hate my life! And the most myself! And I'll
kill me! Not today but soon enough!
HURRAY!

What am I doing? ~future planning~

おはよみんな、さしぶり。
What am I actually doing the whole time?
Nothing special to be honest.

I was the whole holidays at home and just
did nothing. For 6 weeks! That is quiet a long
time, isn't it...
And I don't regret having done that.

I thought alot about many things, which
mostly concerned my relationships to other
people. So many times I questioned myself
who really was a friend and who not. And
maybe who will never be and never was.
そうですよね。。。

It almost made me sick to recognize that I actually had to die so that even only one person would care about me. That fact makes. me. sick. The person that I am makes me sick. My life makes me sick. I'm thinking about giving up my life. I hate this shitty little town. I hate all the people surrounding me (except my parents).

You know, everybody treats me oh so nicely and then, after you think you may give them your all and may have found a really good friend, you start to annoy that person and she (yep, don't have male friends, the oh-fucking moron me) shows you that very clearly. HOW NICE. またつく。。。 I'll loose my fucking fat. I'll be the most prettiest woman on earth! FUCK I'LL PRETEND IT WHEN I'M FUCKING THIN LIKE 50KG!!! I'll let my hair grow super fuckin' long!! Then I'll buy myself the prettiest clothes and will look the most amazing!!

But what then?
If I look all so fuckin' gorgeous?
I won't have then friends either.
I won't be loved either.
Only for the looks.

But not for myself.

DIET part 3

Thursday (yesterday, 05/22/2008)

- Fruits (1 bowl with: 1/2 banana(=48kcal), 1/2 apple(=30kcal), 1/2 pear(29kcal), some strawberrys (50kcal)

==>160kcal (ca.)

- 1x apple (55kcal)

- 1x banana (96kcal)

- Jogging ( --300kcal)

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=> 11kcal

Friday (today, 05/23/2008)

I have to admit that I spent the night at Sharry's place. That's why I had to have breakfast at her place this morning, too. I'ts a shame how much I had to eat at her place! (ﾉ_-｡)

- 2 toasts (1x with jam(=120kcal), 1x with Philadelphia(=120kcal)) (==> 240kcal)

- 1 coffee (10kcal)

- 1 orange juice (130kcal)

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=> 380kcal || 68,6 kg v(^-^)v