Tonight I'm sitting down to seriously consider my personal and business goals.
I think I've been avoiding it for quite sometime. It's never easy to plan ahead, who knows what the future holds. Sometimes you would rather dream than face all the hard work it is going to take to get where you want to go. I am a big fan of dreaming. Not so good on the follow through. But at this time in my life, I need to start building a plan. I can't just dream anymore.
The other problem is, I don't know where to start. Everything is a jumble. I have too many ideas and dreams. I never was good at focusing on one thing at a time. I'm an artist. Our brains are usually messy and noisy and we have 30040954809 things going on at once. It's a problem.
I have a general idea, but it's hard to tie everything together into one dream.
My number 1 dream, is moving to Japan.
But working on the other things to get there is difficult. Difficult to sort them out and plan.
Number 2 dream is to run a successful business/blog/writing career.
So you can see how things start to get complicated here. That's a lot all under one goal. And trying to make them all connect is also hard. How does a Gothic-Crafter-Writer-Jack-of-all-Trades-Aspiring-Samurai-Japanese-Enthusiast fit together?
The micro-managing part of me thinks there should be several blogs to fit all my aspirations into separate places, but that's just an unimaginable amount of work, that will ultimately get me nowhere. There is such a thing as too many irons in the fire.
Somehow, I need to seriously consider my ultimate goals and the steps I will need to take to accomplish them. It's just sorting them out where I run into problems. I get frustrated and give up and go back to dreaming. Which in and of itself isn't a bad thing, but to do it all the time and not actually accomplish anything, that's a HUGE problem.
Ultimately, I want to start a new blog this year, describing the process of not only working and writing, but studying Japanese. I want to some how connect it all to my business, show things I make, post tutorials, study tips, recipes, slice of life things.
I want to grow my business and make it more successful so I can start saving money to get to Japan.
I want to seriously work on writing several books, not just fiction but books featuring my crochet patterns. This will hopefully also bring in money for my trip.
Mostly, I want to not be so stressed because I feel like I'm always failing. I really need something to go right for me this coming year.
There is violence all over the world, all the time. Today we've have several mass shootings. According to some articles I've read, there were/are more mass shootings in America in 2015 than there are days of the year. That's over 365+ shootings.
Basically, America is a scary fucking place. Don't come here. Ever. Seriously. You don't want to come here.
Personally, I want to get OUT. So if anyone in Japan would like to adopt me or marry me or anything, please message me. wwwwwww I really want to leave America. I don't like it here. I don't like feeling scared all the time. Even the small town I live in is not exempt from violence.
What I would really like is people everywhere to stop fighting and destroying each other. We are all human beings. No one is better than anyone else. We're all the same inside. We all bleed the same color. We all have feelings and hearts and dreams and fears. There's simply no need for us to keep killing each other. We will destroy ourselves. We will destroy the world if we don't stop.
The problem with violence in America is that, it only begets more violence. People respond to violence with violence. Every time. It has to end. But Americans are deeply racist, stupid and they love their guns. The politicians here feed on that and make things worse.
It's an upsetting time that we live in. I would like to go somewhere better. Somewhere that there isn't so much violence and guns and hate. I know there are places like this somewhere. But it's not America. In the end, I think America will destroy itself and everyone who lives here. It's frightening to watch.
I really want to get out somehow. Until then, I will study as much as I can and save all my money for the day I can escape.
It's not safe here. I don't know if it ever has been, but it's so much worse now.
