I'm really struggling these days with my anxiety disorders. I have medication, but... it will run out before long. What am I going to do then? No one will help me. I need someone to stay awake and keep me company. I need friends right now, desperately. More than ever. According to my doctor, my anxiety should start to taper off with a new medication he's given me for my thyroid. I really hope he's right. I can't stand to live this way. If I don't have someone to talk to at night. I start having panic attacks. Bad ones, ones that sometimes physically hurt me. It's really hard to get by, and I feel all alone because no one wants to help. I really wish I didn't have this problem, because I don't want to depend on people like this. I want to be like a normal person that goes to bed around midnight or sooner, and wakes at a normal hour. I want a job so I can make some money for Yaki and I to move out. I want to go out and make friends. All these things just seem so distant that it's got my hopes crushed, so to speak. Honestly, as much as I want it, I don't see myself ever achieving these things. Living on our own won't be the problem... getting there is what's difficult. And freaking out every night, crying, spazzing, trying desperately to get up with someone, no matter who it is... I can't live like this anymore. I just wish I could sleep. I wish I could handle being alone.
Coupled with this, I miss Yaki more than ever before. When she leaves my house, even after she's been gone 15 minutes, I miss her like I haven't seen her in months, and I feel like I'm about to cry. I want to spend every moment with her. I don't want to sleep when she's at my house, because I feel like it's time wasted. Time we could be together. I don't really even think it's healthy to feel that way. It just makes me terribly depressed. I need to do something about it, but I really don't know where to start.
I wish I had more friends willing to help me through these times. Because, according to my doctor, I'll notice a drastic improvement within two weeks... I really hope he's right. I think I can make it until then, even if no one is willing to help me.
Coupled with this, I miss Yaki more than ever before. When she leaves my house, even after she's been gone 15 minutes, I miss her like I haven't seen her in months, and I feel like I'm about to cry. I want to spend every moment with her. I don't want to sleep when she's at my house, because I feel like it's time wasted. Time we could be together. I don't really even think it's healthy to feel that way. It just makes me terribly depressed. I need to do something about it, but I really don't know where to start.
I wish I had more friends willing to help me through these times. Because, according to my doctor, I'll notice a drastic improvement within two weeks... I really hope he's right. I think I can make it until then, even if no one is willing to help me.
Over at my aunt's house to kill time. Finally decided to check for wifi. I'm really worried about tonight... I hope everything goes okay. I kind of have an idea, but I dunno...
SecretEyes is going to ship our contact lenses soon, though. I'm excited to get them. I hope they look good. ﾍ(ﾟ∀ﾟ*)ﾉ
I picked up Golden Sun: The Lost Age recently. Again.
I might post pictures and updates from it on here, but I haven't decided.
I haven't even gotten to Piers yet - I'm that early in the game.
Should I post updates? (´□｀｡)
I might post pictures and updates from it on here, but I haven't decided.
I haven't even gotten to Piers yet - I'm that early in the game.
Should I post updates? (´□｀｡)
Not really much happened. I talked with Rachel on AIM for a while, fixed my nightly snack, and now I'm going to bed. Also, I know I don't have a lot of readers, but I wanted to share capsule's new song with everyone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjPqAHPVs_k
♫ - Step on the floor
The album will be on sale next month! >ω<
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjPqAHPVs_k
♫ - Step on the floor
The album will be on sale next month! >ω<