Discipline

Just a page extracted from the book "7 levels of intimacy" by Matthew Kelly which I really like, and hope that it'll be helpful for anybody else struggling with disciplining themselves.

The 4 aspects of the human being, physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual, all requires discipline. When we eat well, exercise often, sleep regularly, we feel more fully alive physically. When we love, we give priority to the significant relationships of our lives, when we give ourselves to help others in their journey, we feel more fully alive emotionally. When we read good books that expand our vision or ourselves and the vision of our world, we feel more alive intellectually. When we enter the classroom of silence and come before God in prayer, openly and honestly, we experience life more fully spiritually.

We do not happen accidentally upon the activities that help us to become the best-version-of-ourselves, We must choose them, and that choosing requires discipline. We are most fully alive when we embrace a life of discipline. The human person thrives on discipline. It awakens us from the hedonistic stupor of modern popular culture and refines every aspect of the human person. Discipline doesn't enslave or stifle us; rather, it sets us free to soar to unimagined heights. It sharpens the human senses, allowing us to savor the subtler tastes of life's experiences and elevates them to their ultimate expression.

Is discipline then, the core of the human experience? No. The life od discipline is proposed not for its own sake, but rather, as the key to making us free. Discipline is the key to freedom. It is easy to give in to the allure of the momentary pleasures that this world so readily offers, but all great men and women know the value of delayed gratification.

One of the greatest challenges if the art of living is to learn to discipline ourselves, but at this moment in history, gratification seems to be the master of people's hearts, minds, bodies and souls. We find ourselves enslaved and imprisoned by a thousand different whims, cravings, addictions and attachments. We have subscribed to the adolescent notion that freedom is the abilty to do whatever, whenever, wherever you want, without inference from any authority. Could the insanity of our modern philosophy be any more apparent?

Freedom is not the ability to do whatever you want, it is the strength of character to do what is good, true, noble and right. Freedom is the ability to choose and celebrate the best-version-of-yourself in every moment. Freedom without discipline is impossible. Is freedom then, the human experience we call life? No. Love is the essence of life. Love is life's great joy and her greatest lesson. Love is the one task worthy of life. Love is your task - to love yourself by striving to become the best-version-of-yourself, to love others by encouraging them and assisting them in their quest to become the best-version-of-themselves, and to love God, by becoming all you were created to be. But in order to love, you must be free, for love is to give your self to someone or something freely, completely, unconditonally and without reservation. Its as if you could take the essence of your very self in your hands and give it to another person. Yet to give your self-to another person, to an endeavor, or to God-you must first possess your self. This possesion itself is freedom. It is a prerequisite for love, and is attained only through discipline. Without self-mastery, self-control, self-dominion, we are incapable of love. We want to love, but without self possession we are simply unable to do so. We are not free, do not possess ourselves and cannot give ourselves so we preoccupy ourselves with all the externals of relationships and call those love.

If you want to measure the level of happiness in your life, measure the level of discipline in your life. The two are directly related. Every step toward the best-version-of-ourselves requires discipline. We need a diet of the body, a discipline way of eating that helps fuel the body and bring it toward maximum performance. But we also need a diet of the mind, diet of the heart, and a diet of the soul. Only then we are ready for a serious relationship. With your self in hand, you can choose to freely and completely give yourself to another person in the mystery of love. If you want to measure the effectiveness of your relationship, measure the discipline in it. If your relationship is driven by whims, cravings, fancies, and constant lusting over pleasure, you don't have love. These things don't help us become the best-version-of-ourselves, and if we truly loved another person, we would never do or encourage anything that would prevent the person from being the best-version-of-himself.

To love, we must be free, and yet too often we're slaves. Love is a promise, but a slave is in no position to promise anything to anyone. Never believe a promise from a man who has no discipline. They have broken a thousand of promises to themselves, and will break their promise for you. Discipline is the evidence of freedom, and freedom is a prerequisite of love.

Allow discipline to permeate every area of your relationship. Let discipline guide you as a couple in your approach to the food you eat, the ways you exercise, the way you spend your recreation time, the amount of sleep you get, your finances, your sexuality, the way you raise your children, and the ways you explore and share your spirituality.

Is your relatonship just surviving or thriving? How much is discipline a part of that relationship? Do you want a relationship? What makes a successful relationship?

A successful relationship is built when two people are striving to become the best-versions-of-themselves, challenging and encouraging each other to become the best-versions-of-themselves, and insipiring others to pursue the essential purpose by the example of their lives and their love. You're not just going to wake up one morning in a relationship like that. You've got to want it, and you better want it bad., Your significant other has got to want it, and want it more than anything else. You've got to formulate a plan, and work on that plan every day with the discipline of a champion. If there is no discipline, its not love.

#2

Oh my god.

Sometimes I really don't know why my mind thinks this way.

Self-sabotage. Always thinking that what people say are right. Inferiority complex.

They're all enough.

Not what everyone says is right. So what if people criticise you? You're not all that.

When people criticise you, its often the person who has the issue, not you.

Why do that to yourself? Why make life so difficult for yourself?

You don't have to live up to people's standards, and be the perfect child, or employee that others want you to be.

You don't always have to try so hard.

You have your own strengths.

For instance,

There is no such thing as an extreme personality trait.

No such thing like, I am honest all the time. I am selfish all the time, etcetera.

Just accept the way that you are, the unique, respectable you.

Cam

#1

Firstly, this blog shall serve as a reference for my daily reflections. Since my deep thoughts will not appeal to other fellow human beings, the best idea is to turn to a different source for my daily rants and hopefully provide clarity on my personality.

I can honestly say, that I feel very stagnant. Why is it that I feel so inferior whenever I approach someone, or when somebody approaches me? The source of my inferiority, no doubt comes from the false belief that I will have nothing good to offer the other person, and that I am a boring individual. And when I look at the other person, I'd think that the person must be thinking "why is this girl so fat, and why does she have such small eyes?! Why is she so boring and quiet and have absolutely nothing humorous to remark?!"

and then I feel bad.

Based on truth, of course there will be no room for a good or funny conversation when my mind is preoccupied with so many negative thoughts. I try to rid my mind off them, but as the saying goes, what you resist, persists.

My aim is to let go, and just be free of these negative thoughts.

Allow, and let go.

Goodnight.

Camilla