Even as a Life Coach, I have my difficulties with my 3 teenagers. Talking and having regular discussions is the crucial element for successful parenting. Simply this morning when I had the exact same stuck state with my youngest child now 14. I tried to stay as calm as I can. I was grieving how I entered this stuck state. She appeared to be venting about how annoying I was. When I asked her what was the annoying part, she might not associate with the particular events.
Perception
She shared that when she talk with me, she felt that I believed it was a wild-goose chase and walk away. It's so interesting to hear how she view what I do. When I hear her tone of voice that sounded angry, I stroll away believing she did not require an answer from me and likewise. I did not wish to remain in that energy and get set off into being angry myself. We discussed facial expressions and intonation. She felt that she was not angry. We had different understanding and point of view. The advantage was we were speaking our minds.
Empathise
What she desired from me was to empathise by saying "Relax. relax, each time when she complain about something or is stressed." All she desired is for me to listen right through and comfort her! That was an insight, a pointer not to be distressed by her intonation or venting. Not to think that she desires a option. That was a mini-revelation.
Comprehending each other
I said to her that it is very essential to keep having a discussion like this so that we get to understand each other better. We do have downs and ups , and there is no warning. We talked a bit about my menopause and her hormones changes. How these modifications in our body can play havoc to our moods. The most important is to go back to the essentials. Simply workout and let the hormonal agents balance. The other essential thing is to let and forgive go of our previous stories so that we don't spiral into drama.
The ups and downs becomes part of the journey and that's how we change, discover and grow . By continuing to talk, have dialogues like this, that is the secret to effective parent and teenagers relationships. Relationships are developed through the effort we took into our communications. Understanding what each other is believing.
Don't bring your role from work to home
she stated, "There is no such thing as best parent." I absolutely agreed with her. She added, "I just want you to be a regular parent." I was wondering what is a regular parent. She said, "Just like when you are a principal, when you go home don't become a principal, so strict with your kids." Ha! I got it. She stated, "Don't bring your coaching thing house." We simply do not want to hear you coaching us. Thanks for reminding me!
Favorable Visit this link Feedback
I shared with her that I am very pleased with her, highlighting how she have lists for her to-do-list. How she kept to her word. When she speak calmly, I like it. The ending was sweet. She fried omelet for me. My feedback to her was that this small gesture showed that she cares for me and I am extremely grateful, I love it. Time to celebrate.
Simply this early morning when I had the same stuck state with my youngest child now 14. I was grieving how I got into this stuck state. When I asked her what was the annoying part, she could not relate to the particular incidents.
Simply exercise and let the hormones balance. We just don't desire to hear you training us.