ひえ～

今日こそ、お日柄、番号もよいので

E-version Mie を終わらせようと

頑張ったのでありますが

またも（またも！）書いてるうちに

おっと、これも、あれも、ついでにそれも～

で、結局、エンディングは　明日～（かな？）

に持ち越しになりました

いやはや、いやはや

旅は道ずれ、世は情け～

人を見たら泥棒と思え～

（関係ないか）

今頃つらつら思うに

人間って愚かだなっ～てことです

（私がその一番の代表ですが）

だって分かっていると思っていた相手の気持ち、

実はきちんと理解してなかったかもしれないから

あの時、自分の気持ち、相手の気持ちを

しっかり掴んでいたつもりだったけど

今考えると、自信がなくなります

（思い込み、勝手な判断、弱い心）

時々立ち止まって静かに目を閉じて

自分の心（と相手の気持ち）をしっかり

みつめること　これって

とっても大事なことですね～

はぁ～（修行が足りません～）

ではでは、お届け　E-version Mie 20

でございます

よろしくどうぞ、かしこみお願い申しあげます

三毛猫詩人

Mie (20) Marriage Proposal

In the third week since we first met, Hide said that he wanted to see my parents to greet them. His intension became clear soon – to introduce himself to them as my potential bridegroom.

Just one day before his visit to my home, he had asked me to marry him. In a coffee shop with red sofas, wooden tables, and white curtains, he said to me, “For the rest of our lives, we can have a wonderful time together, you and me.”

The night before, I could not sleep well. Was it because I was predicting unconsciously what would happen to me the next day?

Yes. As a matter of fact, I was getting concerned, a little tired and more than a little scared of how quickly things between us had developed and turned out. Among others, the most threatening thing for me was the speed and pace of the plot, designed and carried out by him.

“He laid down his plans and put them into practice as if he wanted to run away from something,” I said to myself. “It just does not make sense..!

About three weeks ago, I was in Aomori, skiing. And now here I am with someone who calls me ‘my love’”.

Things had developed so fast, which was driving me crazy and making me nervous. After all the days of spending time with him in the last two and a half weeks, I still could not understand what was really taking place.

“I don’t know…” I half-heartedly said, when he repeated, “Will you marry me?” I had only vague memories of what I uttered to him at that moment, as my heart was fully occupied by both the old (I had known of their existence already) and new (I was not aware of their presence in my heart) annoying and disturbing thoughts.

I was thinking back and fourth why he was in such a hurry. He was intelligent, honest and earnest, but in spite of that, I could not even think about any possibility of marrying him.

I was young (18), not mature, but most of all I was not ready to get over the wound that he had engraved in me mercilessly and violently (That was how I felt then).

“I wish I could have you and enjoy you for as long as possible,” he said. “I think I need time to figure out what has really been going on between us,” I

replied.

Then, I told him that I had a stupid idea. “I have a dream – to pursue my career. There’s still a lot to study that I want to accomplish. My whole attitude is that even if nothing is guaranteed to lead to success, in a positive sense, I would like to test and challenge my limits.”

“You can be good at being both a wife and a self-generated professional,” he said. “But, I have no interest in doing anything else!” I wanted to shout at him, but did not, because that was not what I really meant.

The confusion deepened and the idea that he had showed me, the idea that he was frantically seeking only 18 days ago, dissuaded me from considering his offer seriously.

It was oppressively hot inside the café and I was spellbound by the feelings that he aroused in me.

思い出は落ち葉色－時々カサコソ騒ぎます

Mie 20 Marriage Proposal