hmmmmmm

I have been trying to hide from the reality that I'm facing to... that's why I'm trying to find something that can cover my fear boredom loneliness or whatever. It would make myself feel bit better but it's not gonna be a solution... just a placebo!!! (but I guess I need that shit...)

Well well wellllllllllllllll

I gotta make a plan organize MYSEF otherwise this 3 months would be nothing. Seriously.

I am taking this situation negative (maybe the weather made me feel so), but, this will be the last break in my life, except when I get a baby or became a grandma, and IN NEW YORK AWE YEAH I gotta enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND I now know how much I LOVE working.
I thought I hated it but actually "working" is not that bad, tiring and stressful though, the thing is WHAT YOU DO. I now truly wanna figure our what I wanna do for my life... I would call it "job" here. I really wanna know and really wanna be good at it...

I still feel low but getting better day by day. I'm now ok but will be down when I wake up tomorrow morning, maybe so.

But getting better. Will be fine.

I need these time to face to myself...



:(

2009

Life is short.

break the rules,

forgive quickly,

kiss slowly,

love truly,

laugh uncontrollably,

and never regret anything that made you smile.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.

So throw off the bowlines.

Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore.

Dream.

Discover.


By Mark Twain


Happy new year to everyone

Wish 2009 is bringing tons of love and peace for all people in this world...



:>

ライフ

春が来て

夏が来て

秋が来て

冬が来て

また春が来て

また夏が来て


life is cycle

人生、あがることばかりじゃなく
アップエンダウンを繰り返し、こうやって日々生きているわけで
きっと今はそのトランジッションの時。

今までずっと変化を求めていたはずなのに
実際手にしたとたん、
怖じ気づいて、結局逃げ腰になってる自分　
情けない…

失って初めてその大切さに気づいたものとか
自己嫌悪に陥ってる。

でもこんな感情はきっとそのうちなくなるんだ。
it would get worse ってからかわれたし多分そうだとは思うけど、
でもきっと大丈夫。
今までだってそうだったしね。



I wanna trust myself

then

I would never get lost

I would never regret

I would love me and people

I would appreciate for everything


これからの三ヶ月で
自分自身を信じれるようになる。

無

吸収できるものは全部自分の肥やしへと替えてゆくんだ。


ありがとう　MUJI

だいっきらいでしたが、ラビューアロット