Broggie~ hello!
Have I said this before?
There's so many moments, so many times, that I've longed to write for you, and somehow I write it on my phone as I walk from the office, but then it's cut short, or I forget to post it when I get home?
It's a bad habit, I know.
Firstly, I want to properly update you about my year:
- Last February, I went to Singapore and Pat toured me and the light show at the bridge overlooking that... expensive hotel was breathtaking. SG is impressive.
- Same month, we had our company trip in Taipei. I was very cute with my outfits ^^* But something happened that rubbed me the bad way. I can never look at people the same way again, so I declare that trip as a major turning point in my life? Or my mindset at least. But ah~ the place was so awesome. Maybe I'll keep saying this over and over again but it's my favorite out of the countries I've been to, so far (^_^)v
- March, I turned 25. I wasn't able to go to Japan. But it's a nice thought that my birthday, or around that time, marks the start of spring in Japan. I'm such a romanticist like that, and I feel like I can never stay put in the Philippines. It's not just the fact that we don't have seasons, but it always feel that I don't belong.
- April. What happened in April? Nothing much. And May was a pretty stagnant month.
Jump to present~
- June is about to end. I still feel the same kind of angst towards people. But I want to treasure things that are true and real, like friendship and family. ﾂ�And this month was EBJ's birthday ^_^
Speaking of family, my mom and I have reversed roles.
While I'm reading or surfing the net, she's playing with make-up, camwhoring or flailing over Coco Martin.
She wears mini skirts, glass shoes and flirts with boys.
My brothers too, are growing up in such a way that they are looking after me.
I think I'm really such a Pisces--the lone wolf who pretends to be strong but will always be a crybaby inside. But the wolf inside me is no longer a cub. She knows that she has to bare her fangs a little, and have her claws ready despite wanting to cry.
This is awful, just awful. To lose hope in kindness, to lose hope in genuinity (?), to lose trust and to feel as if everyone's going to betray you. It's not right. And this is not what I hoped to learn or become.
"Deal with it", they say. "Life's like that", they say.
"God doesn't give you trials you can't overcome", they say.
Fucking cliches.
But thinking realistically like this makes me strong.
And I think that the more I feel like this, the more appreciative I become in appreciating things that are good and honest and real.
I really have so many things to be angst about, but I'm afraid this'll turn into one long angsty emo post. So maybe part 2 and a part 3 next time. Yessss, I have that many issues right now.
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On to the good and happy stuff!
I hate to say this but I really have so many good times alone? orz
Yesterday, on my way home, I was so happy to eat Waffle Time belgian chocolate and german cheesedog! ^_^
One of the cheapest but best things in life, I think.
I ate it under the tree with light pink flowers in the Intercon parking lot.
I was really happy and didn't mind if I looked stupid eating there by myself.
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Then today, something got on my nerve again, but I felt happy to be able to ride that transparent elevator inside Mercury Drug in Glorietta.
I always like that feeling, elevating, moving, seeing people below you or past you. Like in airplanes or in walkalators in airports and in SG, that path going to Universal Studios.
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I am also extra thankful for the random acts of niceness you get from strangers.
Like a cashier who'll smile at you and be extra helpful with assisting you.
Or a girl in the van who'll open the door for you or help you with your bag or something.
Because I really, really, really hate obnoxious people.
People who have no respect for personal space.
Really hate them with all my guts they should burn in hell or something.
You know what I mean?
People who move so much and talk loudly on their phones while at a public vehicle.
Ladies who try to sit so demurely they take up your space.
People who feel like they need to make a big deal out of everything yelling with their loud voices and stuff.
I don't hate them because I want to be like them--I hate them because they annoy the hell out of me.
OH AND I ALSO HATE PEOPLE WHO WALK SLOW.
It's not just the lovers, but groups of girls ... and even guys!
Walkways and hallways and malls in the CBD during weekday rush hours are not parks!
It makes me miss Singapore so much, the way they're so disciplined.
And you know what, in Taiwan, when you look at people or catch them looking at you, they don't avert their eyes.
I just avert mine because I happen to be checking cute guys out, hihi ^^*
But still!
I think if I really made eye contact, they would smile at me or ask me if there's something I need.
They give off that sort of aura.
Bottomline is, I really sometimes hate the negative cultural traits we have.
The hypocrisy and the hierarchy and the need to appear sosyal.
You guys can fuck off, take your crap with you, thank you.
Sorry, I went back to negative vibes ^^;
How can I be this way? Switching back and forth cute and sweet while having extreme hatred towards other things?
Maybe I'm sick. Mentally sick.
Or maybe I just have this intense sense of justice.
Like good things must be loved and bad things must not be tolerated, something like that.
Intensity is a good thing, after all, you only live once, right?
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