By Rob WalkerPrecisely because I love words, there are certain words I despise. Not a few have either come into existence, or have been redefined, in the digital-communication era. And Im particularly prickly when it comes to words that touch the craft of writing itself. So if I could choose one word or, really, I feel better calling it a term, denying it actual-word status to obliterate, it would be longread. The subject of despicable words is not new. About a year ago now,at The New Yorker . The response was robust moist was a top candidate and Greenmans wrapup was an elegant summary of . More recently, Slate picked over this territory, focusing on , a visceral negative response words like (again) moist. While Im fascinated by such emotional reactions to language, I find myself identifying more with Kurt Andersen and his list of , which he put together when he was editor of New York Magazine. Anybody who writes that X hails from Texas, that Y graced the pages of Vogue, or that Z is either comely or someones hubby, should stop writing. I most strongly endorse Andersens prohibition of grating language that relate to the business of words, notably authored and penned both classic examples of using a supposedly exotic stand-in for a perfectly good word (wrote). Using such gimmicks is how a writer signals to himself that he is writing. (The ultimate bad-writing sentence would be: Scribe Pens Tome.) Something has happened since Andersen put his list together in the late 1990s. No, I dont mean the Internet -- I mean rhetoric that refers to the Internet. The robust class of pundits and gurus and entrepreneurs whose living depends on elevating all discussions of technology into the highest stratospheres of hyperbole have, along the way, pretty much destroyed a series of formerly useful words. Share, collaborate, discover, crowd, and many others have been abused beyond recognition. But, you know, fine: Language is dynamic, and I at least understand the ways those words have been warped. The longread thing, however, is a Web-era neologism I simply cannot fathom. (Apologies here, by the way, to , which surely means well; but if Philip Morris Companies can become Altria, then clearly you have other options, too.) I am almost as hostile to its close cousin, longform. That word I can at least understand as the acceptably descriptive long-form, condensed to more hashtag-friendly form. But like tome as a replacement for book, neither word has any defensible advantage over, say, feature or even story. Stephen Roddick is onto something when he compares longform to creative nonfiction, another distractingly pretentious term. When I started ranting about this to one of my bosses here at Yahoo News, it reminded him of this Twitter exchange: .@ Tweeting a longread is the new having The Great Books of the Western World on display in your living room. Chris Suellentrop (@suellentrop) That may indeed be the goal, but I sometimes wonder if #longread doesnt function as something more like a warning than a boast: If a piece of writings most fundamental element is longness, do you really want to click through? Look, Ive written . Ive written books. I read a lot, and regularly enjoy features, stories, essays that run into the thousands of words. But as a writer and as a reader, I do not count longness itself as defining feature of such works let alone a selling point. The goal of any piece of writing isnt to see how long you can make it. Often, in fact, its about knowing exactly when to stop.
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