why do i

why do i have to suffer like this ?
why can't this fucking overwhelming pain just stop ?
and how much more am i supposed to take ?

i know it's my own fault.
i can't just let things be,
everything would be so much easier if i'd just
let it be.
settling for familiarity is bullshit.

how am i ever supposed to make it.

i make myself suffering for nothing.
my hands are tied because i won't say goodbye.
i tried.
i told you i was brave, but i lied..

back to square one

the past couple weeks have been
the darkest days of my life.
the time is only stretching more and more
and i'm still where i started...
the walking wounded.
i thought i would stop feeling this way,
and now this ?
i end up going back to square one;
crying myself to sleep.