Ugg boots destroy cold weather fashion

The chill of winter weather has made its presence known to the University's campus and many a student has obtained some sort of sickness.

But one winter problem that plagues the college campus is not biological at all. It is material in nature and a visual nuisance in need of extermination: the Ugg boots .

This sickness begins when the Georgia temperature starts flirting with the 50s. And at the turn of the millennium, someone, the Antichrist perhaps, decided to bring the Ugg boot to Hollywood.

From there, madness spread.

I'm more perplexed by the "fashion" status of the Ugg boot than I am Scientology. Honestly.

A few years back, the disease hit Georgia and spread more fiercely than kudzu. These horrible boot/suede/fur fusion footings have become a mainstay, it seems, on the University campus.

But I ask you today to quarantine the afflicted parties and cleanse the campus of these God-forsaken shoes.

Originally invented to warm the feet and calves of the Australian surfer, the Uggboots is composed of a soft sheepskin suede outer and a shearling lining. Its roominess and lightweight design are very popular comfort features.

And I understand how nice a lightweight and warm shoe must be for winter weather. But God, they are so ugly. Find something else. Please!

Ladies, I know they may be comfortable, but you must stop. As soothing as they must be to the soles, they are far more unattractive.

If you just don't care how you look or you're not trying to attract the opposite sex, then wear them out. But Valentine's Day is coming up, and if you aim to have someone to share it with, I would donate or burn whatever Uggs you have.

I have yet to meet a fellow male who has even thought about saying, "Ya know, I kinda like 'em." It just won't happen. More power to the Australians for their sheepskin ingenuity, but leave it for the Aussies and the swimmers, and only them.

I admit, I've seen a few outfits that incorporate Uggs and actually work.

But in my time here, I can count those instances on one hand. What's more, you girls can't arrange a decent outfit to go to class in! Sweatpants, leggings, or the bare leg are not appropriate parings for your Ugg-ly outfit.

And the Uggs and exercise shorts ensemble? Honestly? Do you own a mirror? Is it full length? And for those of you who reach for your Uggs when it's 75 out, I have no advice for you because you're simply too far gone.

Now, technically, the Ugg is a unisex shoe. So to you ladies and you few brave gentlemen, please wear your horrid shoes with caution. Or better yet, don't wear them at all.

I need to love life and find confidence in my generation. You girls are making me doubt our future as a society.

So, please, keep the campus out of attire agony and opt for a better boot.

UGGs Will Make You Say Ugh

Thought UGGs were comfy? Turns out a pair of UGG boots can be as bad for your feet as a pair of torturous stilettos. And they don’t even elongate your legs or look cute! Dr. Ed Chairman, a Philadelphia podiatrist, said the popular boots lack foot or ankle supports, which turns UGG-wearers into pain-havers. If treated early, the pain can be resolved with an orthotic, but if the UGG -lover waits too long to seek treatment, surgery could be required. Wouldn’t it be easier to ditch ‘em altogether?

Four inch heels and liquor, fall down quicker

The recent sorority and fraternity rush seasons have led to a marked escalation in social events, which inevitably leads to a dramatic increase in the number of dressed up girls heading in the direction of

Zimple street

. We, the onlookers who have chosen not to be involved in Greek life, have been privy to the gaggles of girls leaving for their themed formals, rainbow parties or what have you.

Don't get me wrong, this happens all year long, but it has been more noticeable as of late. Whether it be cowgirls, mermaids or wooly mammoths, there seems to be one thing that most have in common - the total lack of ability to walk in high-heeled shoes.

There is something very important to realize here: If you wear Rainbows, Havaianas or Ugg boots every single day of your life, and you think that you can slip on your $20 pair of stilettos and survive an entire night of drunken revelry, well, then you are totally, sadly, devastatingly wrong.

How do I know that you are incapable of walking in shoes that aren't as flat as your chest (circa 1996)? Well, there are a few telltale signs: Your upper body weight is pitched forward at a precarious angle; your eyes are roving maniacally on the ground to watch for any upcoming hazards; you seem unable to straighten your legs all the way and are making movements similar to that of a burglar pussyfooting around a sleeping house.

Now let's assume that somehow you've made it to your destination in one piece. What's next? Drinks and dancing, of course. Here's where another crucial factor comes into play: Things aren't going to get any easier after you've had a few drinks. The general consensus among inexperienced heel wearers seems to be that if you get drunk, you will forget how much those shoes hurt you and the night will go perfectly. Sorry to burst your bubble: You're wrong!

Drunkenly dancing and flailing around in your $20 heels will result in the development of agonizing blisters. Even if by some miracle of baby Jesus you manage to survive the night, you will have hell to pay for the next two weeks.

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