I haven't done anything the last few days. I just lay on my bed and wait for the time to pass. I feel trapped in my own body and mind. I absolutely abhor myself. The society has defeated me.
I simply don't give a fuck anymore. The pain of guilt and hopelessness is immense. The new plan is to simply keep on making myself sick. Living on the 12th floor...idea of jumping out is quite tempting. I do not detest life however, i do honestly believe the better contibution for me to make is to die and donate all my internal organs to people who desperately need them.
Everything is rotting away inside if me.