I have finally come to the clear, to the sunlight bursting through the clouds. Yet I set off with the trepidation that this is a mere reprieve, that once again the storms will come and stronger than ever. At the same time, I must realize that to think in this fashion is futile and counter-productive to my growth. Of course there will always be storms, always be thorns strewn randomly on the path in an effort to dissuade me from my goal, my purpose, my happiness.
Only now I am indeed stronger, indeed able to stride through such obstacles with a grace and calm I have never known before. I thank my guides, my guardians, my friends [TRUE friends] for aiding me in this achievement- I thank the one who's blade was ever at the ready to protect, whose words were ever in my ear as inspiration, who's council was ever wise and though stern, never harsh.
I can finally say that I am clear of the muck that was bringing me down to the depths of despair and blackness- clear of the feeling that I am obligated to someone because I had once sworn to protect them, someone who has betrayed the very essence of what my Circle is about, what my honor will not let me forgive, what my anger will not let me forget.
It is done- that part of my life blindly helping others that choose to continually beg my aid instead of seeking that aid for themselves, who squander my aid on foolish endeavors and then turn to others that only wish to cause them harm instead of turning to those who truly wish the best for them.
I will no longer fight a losing battle.
I will no longer draw my blade in futile defense.
I will no longer bloody my blade or use my power for one that only wishes to further their own interests and then leave me in the dust.
I will no longer sit and be party to lies, drama, or selfish pity ploys.
I will no longer be used in the hopes that somehow, someway, they will turn around.
I spent so long being brought down like one who tries to rescue someone from quicksand, only to be pulled down with them, becoming a victim themselves so the other can crawl over them to solid ground.
I am finally free, finally see the futility of my efforts, much to my sadness, much to my frustration.
All I did she squandered, allying herself with those who were the very essence of darkness instead of with me- the one who would help her and see her and her son live a happy life even though she was far from home.
All that I gave she took and did not appreciate- even lied to others, telling them I gave nothing, painting me as a selfish, cruel bitch of a woman that did not care a whit about her or others, that turned her back on her needs and troubles.
She called me her sister, her best friend, yet in reality I was just a warm body she could leech off of.
It hurts frankly.
To think that I was supposed to be her "only friend here"- away from her family, away from her home, and she lies to me, about me, to the point that only recently others hated me for who she made me out to be.....And it angers me- angers me to the point that I have grown cold- no longer care if she has a home, a car, a life, a son, a way to make it in this world. Whatever happens to her I no longer care- CAN no longer care.
My joy in fact is that she is out of my life and I can finally move on to things that really matter- me, my TRUE Circle, my writing, my career, my life.
I am Lilith.
And I have been unleashed.
Yet he said that he'd keep up with his diary and MySpace blog, so I KNOW he is unable to resist spamming with randomness on an epic level 
So, it'll be quiet for a week or two while he winds down from his journey and then 
any excuse to flaunt his iPhone expertise 
, but I bet he'll be restless after a while and wanna be back on the road in no time 
