The Prison of Abuse
Me and my Husband grew up in a Prison of Abuse and the abusers were our own family.
Symptoms of The Prison of Abuse
You believe you can't leave
You believe the person or one of them could change
You feel scared to talk about non delicate topics with them or topics that shouldn't be delicate but they are for them
They bash you down, saying you are not enough, do not have any capacity, they make you believe you have no capacity without them.
They over exaggerate your mistakes and reuse that to bash you down more
They pretend to keep secrets of mistakes you did to make you feel indebted or scared (incarcerated)
They pretend to keep secrets of a mistake that you never did to keep you incarcerated
They pretend to keep secrets of a mistake they make but put the faults on you (lie or not)
They put as your fault when they make bad things (lie or not)
They put as your fault things that you never did while knowing you never did
They put as your fault things that you never did pretending they didn't know your integrity and the fact you wouldn't do that
They react as you being bad/mad/wrong/... if you stand up for yourself or just defend yourself
They react as you being bad/mad/wrong... if you are not accepting or passive towards things that hurt you or things you don't want or don't agree with
They fake they didn't notice your discomfort when doing any kind of situation that you feel discomfort/unhappy/hurt/abused by
They create situations that seem like any answer will make the abuser mad/hurt/offended and there's no way out (but there is!)
They are warmer towards you when there’s people around or when they want anything or there’s any interest/intention involved, when there’s not they are cold and behave not nice at all
They constantly lie and never admit a lie by themselves openly, when a lie is admitted they always put the faults in something (even you)
When you threaten to leave/cut/break free from them, they do admit some mistakes (never fully honest) and then put the fault in something else (or you)
When you threaten to break free they play the victim and put the faults of the bad things they do (the ones you pointed out that moment usually, or not to disguise) on something else (or you)
They show temporary change after you threaten to break free and then they do everything again (sometimes a little different to fool you)
When are 2 or more of them, sometimes one plays the good while allowing the bad to abuse you and make you keep hope that the good looking one might change to keep you in this cycle forever or until you suicide (car accident because your driving not drunk at all but deeply sad, it is suicide, as an example, clearly homicide)
Types
Good and bad ones:
If you're being abused by one person while another you believe is good but allowing it, thats your case
The bad one won't change and the good one allows the bad to abuse you lying to you the bad could change and you stay incarcerated believing the good will break free or sometimes the bad will change, listen, at the moment the good didn't break free and allows you to be abused, the good is a clone of the bad but with a mask, both are enjoying abusing you. The one that pretends to be good is abusing you by using the bad one as a tool to abuse you indirectly and keep you in an illusion that someone there is gonna change. They will never change, it's all a Lie, they do enjoy seeing you suffer, they enjoy hurting you, they enjoy Abusing you. They will torture you and you need to escape from that and don't ever feel sorry for them ever ever ever NEVER!!!
Mediators
One is openly bad and the other is a fake that pretends to mediate, when conditions are put on the table to mediate they are always to make you feel uncomfortable/hurt/unhappy/abused and for the best of the abuser always (never you) and if the mediator makes things less bad for you, it's a lie to keep you incarcerated and keep enjoying seeing the bad one abusing you until you threaten to break free, and wait for you to distract yourself to start all that again and enjoy seeing you suffering as long as you stay and you can BREAK FREE!!!
Hints on how to escape the Prison of Abuse
First of First
Dignity, treat yourself nice, admire yourself and support yourself to go beyond to realize dreams you have or you think you had, if you had a dream, you have a dream, dreams never die
Integrity, care about the body your soul lives in, the body is a tool for your soul to interact in this world, it's almost like a smartphone, the better the quality the faster and smoother it will deal with the tasks of the user and the user is you, your soul! and the tool, the body, needs to be in good condition to escape the abuse and build up your dreams! to keep your body in shape you have to be healthy, the basics are NEVER do drugs, alcohol, unhealthy foods and or anything that will cause any degree of damage to your body
War on depression
Being in the Prison of Abuse puts you down in a hole and IT’S POSSIBLE TO GET OUT!!!!!!!!
If you are in your bed, your body can do something but emotionally you think you can't, you need to know you can and spend all the time trying until you accomplish that and keep going, if you think you can't get out of the bed, you will try and you will get out of the bed, if you think you can't walk out of the room, you will try and you will walk out of the room, if you think you could do something later that is possible to do now, you will try and you will do it now, that's your will, that's your Fight and you're gonna WIN!!!!!!!! (We did win)
Financial problem
If the abusers make you believe that you can't survive out there, that's a lie and you will survive out there, believe me.
The abusers created a system to make you believe you can't afford to live the way you live with them or the way you want to live, that's a lie.
The first thing, if your money/finances/etc... comes from the abuser, you need to accept fast (the faster the better, it's URGENT!!!) that you are poor and you might be poor for a while and that's not permanent. You have to accept that the abusers money/finance is not yours and you can never ever have nothing of that to be free from them, that you can make your own financial life all by yourself even if it takes longer, YOU CAN DO WITH DIGNITY!!!
As soon as you accepted you are poor and you might be poor for a while, then the things will begin:
You have to find a Job and a Shelter and the abuser shouldn't know about the Job or the Shelter ever
Shelter is any place to sleep, it could be your friends home, a government room, a cheap rental space or ever under the bridge (better than anywhere with an abuser, believe me)
Job you have to find one with integrity, Never criminal, prostitution, drugs, robbery, never anything BAD.
If the Job seems too poor, but with that you can afford to live (even under a bridge) then that's a START!!! Go to Work, Shelter, sleep, Go to Work, Shelter, sleep, Go to Work, Shelter, sleep, when you are already a month into that cycle, you are able to update the Job and or the Shelter to a better one, keep updating slowly with a minimum month pause always or one year pause if you get comfortable, and keep going your way forward and never go backward. That's the path to rebuild your Soul and to build up your Dreams and feel Real Happiness. There is no Happiness without Freedom.
The abusers strike back, stalkers and or Old Nemesis behavior
That's dangerous and could get yourself killed, so pay attention
Whatever if your abuser is a good looking powerful man, or a little cute looking lady, or someone with disabilities, ANYONE can be an abuser so never be shy to try the Police or any Law Power (or even the Internet, TV, anything) to ask for Help and Protection, if someone didn't listen to you, you have to try another one and you will finally make it (it's like depression, try until you make it and keep going), don't ever be ashamed ever for asking Help, anyone with a good heart will be proud to Help you, anyone who abuses you for asking for help is an Abuser so just go away and never ever try that one again and tell others about that.
If the abuser is still harassing you even after law enforcement, you have to question the Trust of that Law enforcement and make a decision between try Further (Federal or Media) or just move to somewhere New (sometimes it's even better, I did that and it was hard in the beginning only, far better after the Job and Shelter stabilized and you started to enjoy yourself again).
Abusers feel attached to you even after you break free and you're uncontactable for long periods, so be careful and any sign of the abuser trying to reach you it's a trap. Do not ever talk/see/open up/connect/contact/reach in ANY way with the abusers ever again
Abusers don't change, anything that looks like a change is a circus of lies to try to fool you again, it is unlimited how far they can go with lies to get you again, so do not believe in NOTHING!!! and never look back, keep them PERMANENTLY CUT!!!!!!!!
So that's our recipe to Break Free from the Prison of Abuse.
