For the last few days I have been trying to manage the reappearance of someone from my past.
I can not say I am happy with the results of my “so called” coping skills.
It sometimes feels like goodbye. But then a call or a text brings it all back.
Just fucking say goodbye. And be gone.
Me personally I can never say goodbye.
I let the other person do it.
I already know when things are over.
It is when I am reminded by the others past acts
The thing that they did wrong to you.
The misguided bullshit that tends to smell up into ones nose like. This shit stinks. I need to get gone.
But I can not.
Sometimes the sweet out ways the bad smell. And you try to push past it.
But eventually. Letting go of something that was never yours as you can see by the others trail of lies and sneaky acts does tend to become easy.
Easy because of the constant reminders of this bad deeds.
There are many who are flawed.
They are very perfect because of those flaws.
To be flawed and to live it out in he open and be accepted is my idea of perfection.
I don’t need to lie to you about how beautiful you are. I just need. To constantly remind you. You are beautiful.
I don’t need to lie to you about how much I care. I just need to show you.
And remind you that through the fire I will walk with you.
Perfection is a state of mind. It is what you yourself feel inside.
People will say it to you only to get you to feel good but trust me their intentions are bad.
They only say that to get into you pants. Uses you for sex get you to buy them things.
That control is something you must take back
In the states it is call validation.
Personally you need to know you are perfection regardless of what you feel.
But when you are living afoul of the person who accepts you for all you imperfections. You are just a piece of shot person that is easily living a lie.
Go ahead. Great live your fake lie life I say.
Knowing what you said and promise is not true.
No need to lie to the ones who accept you for the flawed life you life (parents, your children, your family). They all accept you for all the good and bad that you do
That is truly a lovely relationship. Something that you could never again achieve unless....
Well unless you live your life and someone sees you being fake and calls you one it.
Unless someone that truly loves you goes above and beyond to tow the line through your own good bad or indifferent life experience.
Someone you have lied to constantly and cheated and or robbed and they forgive you. That is the perfect person. Because...
Through your whole life your parents do the same. You children do the same. And only a true loving individual can do that
Love for me... it is unconditional.
Meaning that regardless the situation. You take all that personal bullshit that people do to you and you stand by someone.
Only the weak have to fake their lives for people.
I hate fake people. Tell me the real. Tell me the real. I’m a big boy.
You’d be suprised at what I really know.
But hey. That’s life.
Get rid of all the fake ass people in the world. Those people who pretend to be someone or something they aren’t.
Then let the flawed people live their perfect live in peace.
Things were good while they lasted but you were always perfectly fake to me.