10/26

It's not that nothing's happening, but for some reason I feel the need to not-blog. Note that: I don't just NOT feel like blogging, I want to NOT blog. There's a difference. And I'm not sure why it is...?

I've been thinking about school so little, lately, and by the time I've worked up the motivation to start my homework, it might be as late as 4 AM

already, when I have to get up for class at 7:30 AM.

.......

I know very well, that there are more interesting things I could be writing about!

But, for some reason, as usually I always have that paranoia of, "Who might stumble upon it...?"! And you know how I am with secrecy...

Come to think of it,

I might be somewhat hard to get to know, compared to other people, in general.

I wonder if that's a good thing?

Anyways, good night!

10/24

I had a ridiculously pleasant weekend

10/22

Ahh!!

When I ask Roomsie why no one ever remembers what I tell them, he says:

"It's because everyone you know is incredibly self-centered. Including me."

I guess maybe he's right

This is a true-story conversation:

me: "-groan- I'm so tired... people keep inviting me places... i'm gonna die."
?: "oh, you poor thing!"
.............
?: "want to go shopping this week!?"
me: "-groan- uhm... i'm really busy.... what about saturday...?"
?: "okay!"

....

What is that????

I guess it's called,

"I don't really give a crap about you, but I'm bored and don't want to be seen alone somewhere, so I'm going to try to bring you along."

And it's happened way too much recently.

I don't think I expect that much from people... just basic courtesy...

If I got so much as an, "Wait, is it OK? Since you just told me 5 seconds ago how tired you are of hanging out with people...", it would be acceptable, but...

10/21

So, my food poisoning

thing's over, and I feel more or less normal

For some reason, having that sort of sickness usually changes my thoughts/actions somehow, even if just by a little bit.

This time...?

For some reason, I've really wanted sweet food, ever since I've felt better

Now, I never dislike sweet food, but I think it's somewhat unusual for me to really want it, and to not be happy with just one sweet food.

So what did I eat today? Some sweet senbei, sweet vitamin water, hot cocoa, and mint chocolate chip ice cream...!

That's right.

I wonder how long this will last?

Oh, also, I've obsessed over cleaning, since recovering.

(Yeah, that's right, a bike. Why not?)

10/19

Sitting on the second floor of this cafe

, I just realized how old I've gotten.

I opened a document that I'm supposed to read for my Japanese culture class, and it suddenly dawned on me, that, more or less, everyone else in my class that will be opening this document today to study for tomorrow's quiz is a freshman or sophomore.

I remember being a freshman, and those few upperclassmen who ended up in lower-level classes for one reason or another. They seemed so wise and frightening, when they'd come in late and sit down quietly with their exclusive group of friends.

Is that really what I am, now??

(It's not a bad thing, but it's somewhat hard to understand.)

When you're a youngster with no friends, being unsociable in class projects the image of being shy, but I think at this point, when people talk to me and I give them short replies, it most likely comes off as more arrogant than anything else...