Even as a Life Coach, I have my challenges with my three teens. Talking and having routine conversations is the key element for effective parenting. Just today when I had the same stuck state with my youngest daughter now 14. I tried to remain as calm as I can. I was grieving how I entered into this stuck state. She seemed to be venting about how irritating I was. When I asked her what was the annoying part, she might not associate with the particular events.
Understanding
She shared that when she talk to me, she felt that I believed it was a waste of time and walk away. It's Click here for more info so fascinating to hear how she view what I do. I leave believing she did not require an response from me and likewise when I hear her tone of voice that sounded mad. I did not wish to stay in that energy and get set off into being angry myself. We talked about facial expressions and tone of voice. She felt that she was not angry. We had different perception and point of view. The good thing was we were speaking our minds.
Empathise
Finally, what she wanted from me was to empathise by stating "Relax. unwind, each time when she complain about something or is stressed out." All she desired is for me to listen right through and comfort her! That was an insight, a suggestion not to be disturbed by her intonation or venting. Not to think that she desires a service. That was a mini-revelation.
Understanding each other
I said to her that it is very important to keep having a dialogue like this so that we get to comprehend each other better. We do have downs and ups , and there is no warning. We talked a bit about my menopause and her hormones modifications. How these changes in our body can play havoc to our state of minds. The most essential is to go back to the essentials. Simply workout and let the hormones balance. The other essential thing is to forgive and let go of our previous stories so that we do not spiral into drama.
The ups and downs is part of the journey which's how we alter, grow and learn . By continuing to talk, have dialogues like this, that is the trick to effective parent and teens relationships. Relationships are established through the effort we took into our communications. Comprehending what each other is thinking.
Don't bring your role from work to house
she stated, "There is no such thing as ideal parent." I completely agreed with her. She included, "I just desire you to be a regular parent." I was questioning what is a normal parent. She said, "Just like when you are a principal, when you go home do not end up being a principal, so strict with your children." Ha! I got it. She stated, "Don't bring your training thing home." We just don't wish to hear you training us. Thanks for reminding me!
Positive Feedback
I shared with her that I am extremely pleased with her, highlighting how she have checklists for her to-do-list. How she kept to her word. When she speak calmly, I like it. The ending was sweet. She fried omelet for me. My feedback to her was that this little gesture showed that she cares for me and I am extremely grateful, I like it. Time to commemorate.
Simply this morning when I had the exact same stuck state with my youngest child now 14. I was grieving how I got into this stuck state. When I asked her what was the annoying part, she might not relate to the specific events.
Just workout and let the hormonal agents balance. We just do not want to hear you training us.