I'm just feeling nostalgic right now
It often happens, like some kinds of little stigma triggers me to recall my old beautiful pieces of memories.
Today, suddenly I recollected one Sunday afternoon when I was about 7 or 8.
It was my family's almost routine to go out on Sunday as a whole fam.
My favorite Sundays were always the days we went to big department store.
Why? cuz I was expecting that my dad would get me a new stuffed animal or smth.
I most often sit in the middle of my brothers.
I remember how it felt like forever to wait my mom finish her make-up.
Here comes another piece.
I and my 2nd bro are waiting for my mom and oldest bro to come back from his academy. Around 9:30pm I guess.
Even though I knew that they'd back, I just couldn't help worrying what if they'd never come back.
With 2nd bro, how unsecure I felt! lol
I remember him playing globe's CD, and I had to listen him imitating Mark Panther.
I was super sleepy, and I guess my mom told us we could go sleep befo they come back.
We didn't decide together to stay up, but without a say, we just knew we both should wait.
***
The nuggets and fries we ate on the way we drove from Yamanashi Sunday afternoon.
I was just soo happy that our parents decided to get McDonald's.
I don't know why but for me, it was such a delicious food.
I vividly remember the scene of all of us passing food so that everyone could share.
***
It was a sunny day, and we were staying at our 2nd house in Yamanashi.
My oldest bro and I climbed on the roof, and he showed me his new cell phone which was super primitive compare to what we are using now.
However, it was such an amazing device to me, and I was full of happiness just to keep my oldest bro all by myself.
I also worried what if my the other bro would notice and get jealous that he was being excluded.
I guess I was secretly having a competition over the oldest bro's attention with the other bro.
So, I was feeling both pleasure and guilt.
Thinking back, it was ridiculous..
***
I used to climb up on my dad's back while he was reading newspapers on weekends.
I guess it was terribly annoying, and my mom often insisted me to let him be free.
***
I loved to steal bits of my dad's dinner when he had to come home late and couldn't join family dinner. He was served separately.
It was my favorite time, and whatever he ate looked more deliceious than what we ate earlier.
***
Similar story. On Wednesdays which my kindergarten finished early, I often stole my mom's lunch because she often ate around the time I come back.
I guess I ate almost half of her whatever it was.
Such a selfish girl.......
***
Family eating out was always my pleasurable time.
I remember claiming my parents that I didn't want to go because we'd miss some kinds of TV shows. (doubutsu kiso tengai...or M station)
However, when I think of those time now, I realize how precious those time were. How impossible it is to eat out as a family now. Why couldn't I just be nice and get along with all of my family?
There are more and more pieces like this.
Putting my preschool uniform(I was 6), looking into mirror imagining how I'd look when I become 20yrs old lady. Have I become what I wanted to be? It is such a question.....
Cool breeze after horrible session at TAP, which hit my face while I was riding my mom's bycicle's back.
ONe more ridiculous my old ritual. I kissed every single sruffed animal I had befo I went to bed so that no one of them would feel neglected or jealous.
I was afraid of them turning against me at night. (start moving etc...)
Also I prayed so hard to make my parents younger every night when I was around 6~8. I recognized that my parents looked older than others', and I was aware that they woudln't be around forever.
****
All of memories are surprisingly trifle at the time I experienced.
Nonetheless, right now, those are priceless and something I'd never ever be able to get back.
I'm overwhelmed by how lucky I was.
And how things have changed.
How ignorant I was to realize what I had.
One thing I want to make sure.
My parents had given us so many beautiful times and memories.
I just want to let them know how much I appreciate it, and I want to assure them how they raised us wasn't wrong.
"Parenting is such a bitch" (Wilturner's words)
I mean it is the most hardest thing in one's life.
NO one can do perfect job, but at least my parents did much better job than other parents could do.
SO,
yeah, thank you for being my parents.