Nate:
So the place we're going to
doesn't look like it's on an actual road.
So she's literally off the map.
Blair:
Well, whatever backwoods town we're headed to,
it can't be good.
Serena is not country strong.
Nate:
Yeah, well, we're gonna have to be for her.
Can you turn right here, please?
We need to go west.
What the hell's going on?
Dan:
What are we doing?
Georgina:
Sabotage.
Blair:
Georgina Sparks.
Chuck:
With Humphrey in tow.
Dan:
Hey, guys. Nice day for a drive, huh?
Georgina:
Don't talk to them. Let's go now.
Blair:
W-where are you going and what are you doing with her?
Dan:
Probably the same thing you're doing with him.
Blair:
Saving Serena?
Georgina:
No. Finding Serena.
And since you're going to be following us,
I'm going to have you to follow my lead as well.
Chuck:
Which means what, exactly?
Georgina:
Do nothing. Whatever Serena is doing,
we can't get involved.
We're there to observe and record,
like a documentary.
Blair:
This isn't a reality show, Sparks.
This is reality, a concept I know you're a little fuzzy on.
So whatever filth-filled, paint-huffing meth den
we find Serena cracked out in,
we don't judge.
Nate:
We're still her friends no matter what.
Chuck:
We're her family.
Georgina:
Oh, aren't you just the kindest, nicest
little trust fund babies in the whole world?
But when it comes to what Serena's capable of,
I think you'll find it's nothing like what you imagined.
Dan:
I can't argue with you there.
Georgina:
I would just like to point out that most serial killers
are high-functioning members of society who lead a double life.
She could be trapped in the basement
or buried in the backyard.
Blair:
Good idea, Georgina.
Why don't you grab a shovel and start digging?
Dan:
There's--there's gotta be an explanation for all this.
Woman:
Can I help you?
Chuck:
I believe you can. We're looking for our friend Serena.
Blair:
Blonde. Lags for days.
Effortless charisma
that only someone far less secure
than I am would find threatening.
Georgina:
And I'm the weird one?
Woman:
I believe you mean Sabrina?
Gossip Girl(Voice Over):
I think someone's about to toss her cookies.
And the only thing more disturbing
than finding her on drugs or in a psychward
is seeing her happy and healthy.
Who wants that?
Serena:
What the hell are you doing here?
Blair:
Uh, looking for you.
Georgina:
To observe and record.
Nate:
No. We're here to help you.
Chuck:
And get you home.
Dan:
And, uh, I don't even know what I'm doing here.
Serena:
Can't you see there's a party going on
and you're not invited?
Chuck:
Crashing parties is one of our favorite pasttimes.
Georgina:
Especially when it involves infiltrating
a sophisticated yet deadly cult.
Now which one is the charismatic leader?
Serena:
Please leave before it's too late.
Steven:
- Sabrina!
Blair:
- Sabrina.
Serena:
Too late.
Steven:
Sabrina, you didn't tell me you invited friends.
Blair:
That is so Sabrina.
Nate:
Oh, she loves surprises.
Dan:
She has so many surprises, you could write a book about'em.
Georgina:
Where to end that book is the challenge.
Chuck:
I hope you don't mind us dropping by.
Steven:
Steven. Nice to meet you.
And of course not.
The more, the merrier on this special day.
Please, stay and be a part of it.
Blair:
Oh, yes, Steven. I think we will.
Serena:
Why don't we get my friends some drinks then?
Steven:
Okay.
Rufus:
I know I'm not exactly a welcome houseguest these days,
but we shouldn't let our recent history overshadow our past.
Lily:
Thanks. I appreciate it.
How could I have thought it was okay to go all summer
without actually talking to my own daughter?
Rufus:
Whatever this is, Lil, isn't your fault.
Lily:
And why should I believe that?
Rufus:
Because that's what you told me when Jenny ran away,
and she was much younger and craizier,
with much heavier eye makeup than Serena.
We raised good girls.
Unpredictable, sure.
Lily:
Try reckless, defiant.
Rufus:
Spirited,
independent.
Not unlike their parents at that age.
Lily:
Oh, god. Who can remember back that far?
Rufus:
I can, and seeing the way her mom turned out,
I have every confidence that Serena will be okay.
Lily:
Well, look, I'm sorry about earlier.
I shouldn't have stormed out like that. I had no right.
I shouldn'Ve known you wouldn't be attracted to someone
Like... you know...
Ivy.
Ivy:
So sorry to interrupt, but, um,
I just came from the gallery,
and, uh, look.
We got it.
I was just--I was so excited. I couldn't wait!
It's what we dreamed about all summer.
Lily:
Well played, Rufus.
You butter me up, remind me how great you can be,
only to have your little tramp show up here
and throw whatever this is in my face.
Rufus:
Lily, hold on.
Lily:
Is it any wonder our children are still so immature
with such role models for parents?
Rufus:
Don't say anything you're gonna regret.
Lily:
I have no regrets, Rufus,
only that I let you in my home today.
Rufus:
I'm already leaving.
Ivy:
You know, I know you're really worried about Serena,
but you should try to relax your face.
You're getting some very pronounced frown lines.
Bye.
Georgina:
This is so much worse than we thought.
Blair:
Because you're here? I agree.
Nate:
What makes you say that? It's a nice house.
He seems like a nice guy.
Chuck:
Look at this.
Trellis, chairs, pastor. This is a wedding.
Blair:
And Serena was wearing a white dress!
Either she's the bride, or she's just really tacky.
Georgina:
I told you. She's obviously had a psychotic break.
Serena's taken too many happy pills,
and now she think she's Sabrina from Dan's book.
Dan:
That actually sounds veguely plausible.
Georgina:
Or today's the day of the cult sacrifice,
and since I don't see any volcanoes in the area,
I wonder if they're burning her at the stake.
Dan:
And then you lost me.
Blair:
Whatever is going on, we can't let her marry this guy.
Time for a plan.
Nate:
Okay, well, Lily was really worried this morning,
so I should at least call her
and let her know we found Serena.
Chuck:
And I can reach out to the Ostroff Center,
have them ready Serena's old bed just in case.
Blair:
And Humphrey and I will try to get her alone.
We're the closest to her,
the best chance of breaking through.
Georgina:
Aren't you forgetting someone?
Blair:
Trying to.
Georgina:
Fear not. I've seduced a man of the cloth before.
I can do it again.
Chuck:
This wedding cannot happen.
Dan:
Blair, why don't you go find Serena on your own?
You know, I'm really not up for a super secret mission,
especially with you.
I'm not even here to help.
Georgina just dragged me along so I could, you know,
Oh. Okay.
Blair:
What is wrong with you?
Dan:
Uh, aside from the fact that my face now hurts?
You know what, Blair? You chose Chuck.
I don't owe you an explanation. Good luck.
Amira:
In here, Chuck.
Bart:
Wrong Bass, my dear.
What are you doing here?
Bart:
I came here to ask you the same question.
So is Chuck using you,
or are you using him?
Amira:
What goes on between Chuck and me is none of your business.
Bart:
You better hope your relationship
has nothing to do with business,
Because so help me,
if you've told him anything about mine.
Amira:
I haven't.
Yet.
But that could always change.
Chuck is very persuasive.
Takes after his father in more ways than one.
Bart:
What do you want to leave town with your mouth shut?
Amira:
You think you can just buy my silence?
Bart:
I can buy anything.
It's one of the chief perks of being really rich.
Amira:
$10 million.
Steven:
Everything okay?
You seem a little nervous.
Serena:
Oh. Yeah, no. It's just a lot of pressure,
and I want everything to be perfect. So...
But when do I get to see you alone?
That's all I care about.
Steven:
Not soon enough.
Although, I, uh, imagine
you wanna spend some time with your friends.
So are they from Vassar
or did you, uh, grow up with them in Wisconsin?
Serena:
Uh, Wisconsin.
And I'm--I'm so sorry I didn't tell you that I invited them.
It just must've slipped my mind with all this going on.
Steven:
No, it's okay. It's okay. I'll see you out there.
Serena:
Okay.
Dan:
Wisconsin?
Seriously?
Do you even know where that is on a map?
Serena:
What I do know is,
You told me you never wanna see me again,
and then you show up here, today of all days,
when I'm finally happy with someone I actually care about?
Dan:
Cares about you
or Sabrina from madison who goes to vassar?
Georgina's right. You really are delusional.
Serena:
I'm not gonna let you ruin this.
Dan:
Serena, I have no intention of ruining your big day.
I hope you do marry this guy. Frankly, it would be
the kind of desperate, attention-seeking stunt
that would prove you're every bit as shallow and sad
as the character in my book, so--
Okay, I deserved that one.
Serena:
Wait.
Wait, marry him?
Chuck:
How'd it go?
Humphrey and I split up.
I didn't find Serena, so hopefully he did. You?
Chuck:
The Ostroff center's on alert,
though apparently now it's called the Pedowitz institute.
Georgina:
Great news. You'll never guess what I found.
Blair:
Looks like Nate Archibald to me.
Nate:
After I talked to Lily,
I found her rooting around Serena's bathroom.
Georgina:
Not rooting. Snooping. And all for a good reason.
Blair:
The only thing you were supposed to be doing
was getting between that man and his cloth.
Georgina:
He's protestant. I do my best work with Catholics.
Chuck:
Thank god I'm an atheist.
Blair:
Great. Now this wedding is gonna happen unless we find Serena,
which requires us finding Dan.
Nate:
Well, that might be easier than you think.
Steven:
Could I have everyone's attention, please?
Sabrina, would you--would you join me?
Serena:
- Tell them, please.
Dan:
- Of course.
Okay, so Serena explained everything
Blair:
Explained what?
That's she's never been happy in her whole life
and she found true love for the very first time?
Please.
Steven:
...in life, which is why I'm--I'm so glad
that you all could be here for this special moment.
And to have the love of my life by my side.
So let's, uh, let's all raise a glass--
Blair:
No! No!
We will raise nothing!
You cannot marry her.
You don't even know her!
Serena:
Blair, please.
Blair:
Her name isn't Sabrina either.
It is Serena. Serena Van der Woodsen!
Georgina:
And that's not all.
Blair:
What are you doing? I've got this.
Georgina:
Public humiliation's really more my forte.
Sabrina Serena has a history of mental imbalance,
Drug use, and promiscuity.
Blair:
That's right.
Georgina:
She's got a rap sheet and a snuff film.
Blair:
Yeah, and we have contacted a psychiatric care center
who has agreed to take her into custody.
Serena:
Kill me now.
Man:
Hey! What are you doin down there?!
Nate:
Wait. Who are the two angry guys in matching hats?
Dan:
They're the grooms. That's what I was trying to say.
This is not Serena's wedding.
Steven:
Will someone tell me what's going on here?
Why are the maid of honor's friends
ruining David and David's wedding?
Serena:
I know I have some explaining to do.
But can we talk, just the two of us, please?
Georgina:
No. No one goes anywhere.
No more lies. I have proof that you're on drugs.
I found these in your bathroom.
Steven:
Yeah, those are vitamins.
Georgina:
Okay. Like we're supposed to believe that.
Serena:
Steven makes them. He has a holistic health company.
Chuck:
Wait. You're Steven Spence.
I saw you speak at the T.E.D. Conference last year.
Serena:
I told you I was fine.
Dan:
Actually, no, you didn't.
Blair:
Yeah. Dan is right.
You fell off the face of the earth without a word.
Serena:
But isn't that what you wanted? You kicked me out of your house.
You said you have no reason to ever speak to me again.
And, what, you two were too busy doing whatever it is you do
to even send a text?
Chuck:
I spent the summer in the middle east,
dealing with something relating to my father. It's serious.
Serena:
Well, and so am I about turning my life around.
Dan:
Wait a second. Blair, you two spent the summer apart?
Serena:
I started my summer on a train,
being revived by paramedics.
Georgina:
mouth-to-mouth on public transportation?
Yeah, I'd say that's rock bottom.
Serena:
Yeah, I would, too,
which is why I wanted
to start fresh without any of you.
As for why I pretended to be someone else,
well, I-I think that explains itself.
Blair:
Serena!
Dan:
I don't believe you.
Blair:
Well, I'm not gonna let her just charge off without
Dan:
No, not Serena. You. That you chose Chuck,
that I don't like but I
Blair:
Dan, please don't do this.
Dan:
But then I find out that you're not even with him.
Blair:
I am with him,
or at least I will be.
We made a pact.
We have things we need to do on our own.
But when we are both in that next place,
We will be together for good. End of story.
Dan:
So I didn't lose you to Chuck.
I lost you to the idea of Chuck,
at some point in the hopefully not-to-distant future, maybe?
Blair:
Well, when you put it that way...
Dan:
You know, you had someone who loved you unconditionally,
treated you right, and wanted to be with you every day,
and then you threw that all away
to let Chuck Bass decide when he's ready for you?
You think you two have an epic love,
but all you have are excuses.
Blair:
I have to go find Serena.
Ivy:
I'm sorry I came to Lily's.
I never meant to cause any problems.
Rufus:
Lily thinks what she wants.
It's always the worst, especially about me.
Ivy:
Well, she's wrong.
I probably shouldn't be saying this,
but...
I'm glad you get away from her.
She doesn't appreciate you.
Never did.
Rufus:
You know, if you have such a poor opinion of Lily,
then...
Why was it so important for you to get close to her?
Ivy:
I realize now
She's not the one I wanna be close to.
You're the good one, and you care about other people.
And I think that's why she's so threatened by me.
I see the real you,
and I don't think she deserves you.
Rufus:
That's an interesting theory.
Ivy:
I think it's more than that.
Rufus:
Ivy...
Ivy:
It's okay.
I'm not a kid.
You're not married.
Serena:
Why are you still here?
Blair:
You didn't think I was leaving without you?
Or... without saying I'm sorry.
Because I am, Serena.
Thinking that I really lost you
Made me regret every horrible thing I've ever said to you.
Serena:
Well, that's alot of regret.
Blair:
However complicated our friendship got,
I shouldn't have let it go.
I shouldn't have let you go.
"B.F.F."Means"Best friend forever."Right?
Well, maybe it's time to admit that...
We're stuck with each other.
Serena:
I appreciate the kind words,
And--and I know that they're hard coming from you,
But I don't want to be stuck with you.
I want a fresh start
With Steven.
Blair:
Fine.
If that's how you want it, stay here.
You can have Pougheepsie.
Hell, you can even have Schenectady,
But I get Manhattan.
Have a nice life.
Gossip Girl(Voice Over):
Poor B.
Looks like she just got dumped by the love of her life,
And we're not talking Chuck or Dan.
Blair:
The two of us alone in your limo?
You're really tempting fate. You know that?
Unless that's your intention, of course.
We're both back in New York, doing what we need to do.
Maybe our pact is just an excuse
for us not to be together.
Chuck:
Blair, I love you with all my heart,
And that is the reason
we cannot take the chance of messing this up.
Blair:
Sure. Because what would your father think if you failed?
That I distracted you.
That... you sacrificed your empire for me.
Chuck:
Blair, you are a distraction,
because when we're together you're all I think about.
And I would give up my empire for you.
I would give up everything for you.
After a couple nights in Monte Carlo,
I lost track of all time.
Blair:
We were exhausted and starving.
I think I had an actual fever.
Chuck:
But that's not why we need to do this,
and neither to prove a point to my father.
Blair:
Then what?
Chuck:
In the past, I blamed my mistakes on you,
and Bart was right on that count.
It's the boy who blamed the girl, not the man,
and that's what I want to be with you.
It won't be much longer, I promise.
Arthur, pull over.
Blair:
Wait. What are you doing? This is your limo.
Chuck:
I need to walk it off.
xoxo44:
Iromic, isn't it?
You traded your future for your friend,
and she didn't even want to come home.
nate91:
You knew the whole time, didn't you?
xoxo44:
I'll never tell.
Nate:
Hey, Sage.
Sage:
Hi. Sorry for dropping in after hours,
but I was walking by and saw that your office light was on.
Nate:
Ah. No, you, uh, you just--you thought of more questions, huh?
Sage:
Only one.
Would you like to have a drink with me?
Nate:
Yeah. I could use a drink, actually.
Sage:
Bad news on your big story?
Nate:
Real bad.
Gossip Girl(Voice Over):
What's old is new again.
I may not have much time left, but some things are forever.
Serena:
Since you know who I am,
I thought it was time that you see where I'm from.
Steven:
That explains why you didn't want to
come back to the city instead of my place.
I'm just on the other side of the park.
Serena:
You know, all that time away,
I didn't realize how much I missed it.
But now that I'm back and I'm with you,
New York has never seemed more perfect.
Gossip Girl(Voice Over):
The promise of love...
Serena:
No one can ruin this, no matter how hard they're gonna try.
Gossip Girl(Voice Over):
The threat of war...
And the fall of the mighty.
Chuck:
Amira.
It's late. I thought you would be in your own suite.
Amira:
Your father gave it to me to keep quite.
Chuck:
About what?
For that amount of money, you must know a hell of a secret.
Amira:
I swear I don't know what it is,
but I wanted to stick around to find out.
Dan:
That was a waste of time.
All that driving and wedding crashing and public humiliation,
and still no Serena.
Georgina:
What's worse, still no ending to your book.
Serena still has her cell phone.
I just know that video has to be on it.
Dan:
I guess we'll never know 'cause Serena's not coming back,
and you're not going looking for her again.
Georgina:
Something to hide, Humphrey?
If memory serves, that video should make you a star.
Or is it that you just don't want Blair to see?
Dan:
Can you--can you just drop it, please?
Why are you even walking me to my door?
I'm not kissing you good night.
Georgina:
Okay. I'll call you tomorrow.
Gossip Girl(Voice Over):
And just because I've seen it all
doesn't mean I've seen everything.
And I gotta say, no one saw this one coming.
You may think my best days are behind me,
but this old girl still has some new tricks.
Stay tuned.
X.O.X.O., Gossip Girl.