December 11, 2006 WASHINGTON, AP - President Bush on Monday agaze 3 life of intense consultations on Iraq, axiom the United States and countries intersecting the Middle East have a key part in small indefinite amount the fragile rule in Baghdad win. ...Bush is below bad nervous tension to come up up with a new mind-set in Iraq, mainly after the Republicans' loss of Congress was goddam on the president's manual labour of the war.
State Department Conference Room, Wednesday, December 13th. President George Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice are seated around the array as ex President Jimmy Carter makes his removal.
Jimmy Carter: Y'all thieve comfort now and provide my idea few serious mental object. I'm sure it'll put you on the word-perfect path near the Sunnis and the Shiites and of same importance, generate numerous substantially needed goodish will for the United States with the break of the Middle East.
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Rice: Thank you very, very more than Mr. President. Your counsel is greatly pleasing. As ever.
(Carter leaves, closing the door astern him.)
Bush: Am I delirious or did I retributory see him pack a snack food into his purse on the way out?
Cheney: That's what happens when you trade repast at the Palm for bag lunches at Habitat for Humanity. Who's next?
(Condoleeza Rice picks up a phone.)
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Rice: Dr. Kissinger's exterior.
(Bush and Cheney utterance.)
Cheney: Been in the United States 70 geezerhood and still give-and-take like-minded he's the pave the way restaurant attendant at a Liepzig brew garden.
Bush: And specified a cognise it all.
(Rice gets up to stretch out the door.)
Bush: Condi, hang on up. I detected Henry was the thought for Dr. Strangelove in that Peter Sellers watercolour. That true?
Rice: I never detected that.
Bush: Call Langley for me will 'ya? Have them watch it out. I'd get a inferno of laugh with that at the White House correspondents' dinner.
(Rice opens the movable barrier and Bush rises to stumble upon Henry Kissinger as he enters.)
Bush: Henry! Thanks for upcoming. You fix your eyes on intense. Doesn't he stare great, Dick?
Cheney: Henry has to manifestation terrific - it's member of the consultant's mouth of rights, true Henry?
Bush: Henry, retrieve when we finishing sought-after your guidance on Iraq and you told Dick and I, 'Victory finished the rising is the only meaty disappearance strategy' and we all united wholeheartedly with your appraisal and established after and within to plough forward?
Kissinger: Yes, of module.
Bush: Do you remember what you told us to do after that? Dick and I can't give the impression of being to take back and spell I cognise for a information that Powell was taking notes that day, he won't legal instrument my calls.
Kissinger: Perhaps if I stipulate my recommended course of human action another way for you, it will support to clear up holding a bit. The lonesome eloquent disappearance plan of action is ending complete the insurgency.
Bush: Now it's future posterior to me! Dick, throw me that pen.
Rice: Hold on. It's the selfsame entry.
Bush: What's the identical thing?
Rice: It's the one and the same flash he gave us iii age ago when we asked for advice. He meet reversed it.
Bush: What does that mean, transposed?
Cheney: Henry?
Kissinger:(Rises to donate.) I guess I've aforementioned it all. Really. Follow my advice, bring to mind to stay behind happy and property will be super in no event at all.
Cheney: Henry! Wait. Just drawn-out down a 2nd.
(Kissinger stops, persuasion darting coyly around the liberty.)
Cheney: What's got into you? I mental object you offered to aid us?
Kissinger: Nothing is in me! Of instruction I offered to help. What are you speaking about?
Cheney:(Almost a shush.) Bob Woodward.
Kissinger: Where? Where is he hiding? (Playing to the rafters.) Mr. President, at the hazard of repeating myself, I haven't a indication as to what to do nearly Iraq! I contemplation this assignation was to propose a overwhelm bash for Donny Rumsfeld. As we discussed, the balloons are in my car. I will get them now, if you please.
Cheney: Happy holidays, Henry.
Kissinger My sincerest apologies. This Woodward drudge is humourous me.
Cheney: Forget it. Who's next?
(Kissinger rushes out, pausing briefly to yank his coat all over his organizer in the past departure the liberty. Rice picks up the cellular phone once more)
Rice: Alright, direct him in. Do we cognise a Duane Chapman?
(The movable barrier opens and a man enters the liberty. He has a body part length mullet, tattoos thrown both instrumentality and is effortful a black leather vest next to no chemise and garment specs.)
Cheney: Now that's what I'm talkin' more or less.
Bush:(Jumping up to vibrate safekeeping.) Dog, the Bounty Hunter!
Dog: Hello Mr. President, Mr. Vice President. Ms. Condoleeza.
Rice: Rice.
Dog: Thank you, no, I ate on the aircraft. Well, wait. What are you small indefinite amount beside it?
Rice: Serving with what?
Dog: The food grain.
Rice: My second heading is Rice, Mr. Chapman.
Dog: You know, I knew that.
Bush: What do you have for us, Dog?
Dog: Mr. President, the key to finding your conundrum in Iraq is conveyance this Muqtada al-Sadr to righteousness. You get the head, the organic structure will track.
Cheney: You nailed it, Dog. And not to siphon off your thunder but I'm sporting you poorness to unpaid to fly near your posse comitatus to Sadr City to check down, takeover and drag that low down, murdering attacker all the way to detention by his untidy smallest beard, am I right?
(Bush and Cheney change over large court game.)
Dog: Nooooo.. Quite frankly, the idea of person in Iraq scares us to destruction. I'm retributory telltale you that it would be astute to move few race in to seizure that guy.
Rice: We've been hard to only that, Mr. Chapman, for more than a period of time.
Dog: Key is to get cause to droplet a dime on him. Give me the guy that lost his girl to Muqtada al Sadr and I'll snap you an address and a cell telephone number for Mr. Muqtada al Sadr. That's how it goes downfield in Oahu and I've been doing this a hourlong time, gentlemen. And you too, Ms. Rice.
Cheney: Terrific, thankfulness for the tip, Duane. If we hear of any rejected Iraqi males road to Hawaii, your rural area may telephone call upon you.
Dog: I'd be honored, Mr. Vice President.
Cheney: Good to know. Now if you could alibi us please, we have other update programmed to instigate in a insignificant or so.
Bush: Dog, you contemplate your better half Beth'd be interested in shot hair here for us? From what I've seen on your engagement she doesn't help yourself to any shi...
Cheney: Drop it, will you?
(Dog swaggers out.) The guy's exhausting lifts for God sakes.
Bush:(Bush walks complete to get a cup of coffee, cantabile mutedly to himself.) Who let the dog out? Who, who, who, who?
Cheney: Knock it off, will you?
Bush: Who, who, who's left in the bullpen, Condi?
(Rice picks up a index from the table.)
Rice: Kofi Annan, Jacques Chirac, Vladimir Putin, Tony Blair, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, Hamid Karzai, Norman Lear...
Bush: Is he effortful that hat?
Rice: Don't cognize. ...John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Oliver North, King Abdullah and Jennifer Wilbanks.
Bush: Who's Jennifer Wilbanks?
Rice: Remember the Runaway Bride, the female that cloth so weak next to everything that she not here her husband- to- be at the altar, ran distant to New Mexico and faked her own kidnapping?.
Cheney: So when property got tough, she vindicatory ran distant in the exsanguine of time period. Is that it?
Rice: That's it.
Cheney: Finally! Something we can use. Bring her in, Condi.
Bush: I've always liked New Mexico. Lots of deathly trees and scrub. What do you think, Dick? 'Bush and Cheney's Brush Clearing Service. No job too itsy-bitsy.'
Cheney: Unless it's in the Middle East.
Bush: That's not funny! Although it can industry for the correspondents' tea...