Just a little bit of your heart

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Give a step forward

日本では、強くなるために自分を押し殺してきたと思う
誰に強制されたわけでもなく、自分でそうしてきた
だからこそ今の私が居るし、
そうして来たことで得た経験は、本当にかけがえのないものだ
だけどここでは、無理せず生きてみたいと思った

おしゃべりが大好きなこの国で
シャイでいることは沢山のチャンスを逃すことを意味する
だけど、もう無理に自分を奮い立たせる気はなかった

半年の時間がたって、一つの疑問にぶち当たった

無理せず生きることは、自分の可能性を潰していることなのか？
それとも自分のパーソナリティを大切にしているということなのか？

この3ヶ月間で沢山プレゼンをした
取ったクラスが、1週間に1回プレゼンするようなクラスだったから
否応無しにやらなきゃいけなかった

私はよく笑うから誰も信じないけど、自分のことシャイな方だと思うし
英語もめっちゃ堪能ってわけじゃないし
多くの人の前で話す、しかも英語で...無理じゃねwwwwwww
だけど、私もあの人みたいにプレゼンしたい
笑いとか取りたいしw
そして、何事もやるからにはベストを尽くしたかった

そしたらクラスが終わるころには、プレゼンに対して抵抗がなくなった
準備の時間も、そんなに取らなくてもよくなった
何より、何を話すかではなくて
どう笑いを織りまぜて、聞き手を引き込むかとか考えだした
3ヶ月前の私が、想像もしていなかったこと

最終結論ではないけど、
きっと本当はやりたいのに、何かのせいにしてやらないってのはよくない
そこに対しては、一歩踏み出すべきだ
反対に、自分が本当に気が進まない、嫌いなことは
自分のパーソナリティを潰してまでやらなくていい

本当にやりたいことなら、たとえ抵抗があっても
実際にやってる時、準備してる時、それが出来てる自分を想像した時、
私の心はわくわくするはずだ

それを目印に、これからは選択してみよう

Fly high

I think I've already known who you were
But I pretended not to, cuz I lost the reason why I liked you
Yeah, it's not a love

I was right, you are not the one
If I try hard something for you, it's not normal, it's not me

I choose me
I'm not gonna say sorry about I won't be by your side
You choose it, and I do the same
I realized it at the moment, did you notice that?
You don't need me

It's hurt a little bit
But I choose me

I go further and higher
You'll stay there

If you wanna catch me,
Reach out, deal with your life and fly high

By your side

Looking back, I've worried about so tiny things.
Once people know that it doesn't last so long,
They open their heart and can be calm each other.

Probably it's the same theory as life.

If you die tomorrow,
You will forgive everything and do what you want to.
You won't be afraid of anything
And you will figure out what you truely want.

I don't wanna say "It was always you."
I don't wanna use " if "

I'm not gonna say "Change yourself! My theory really works!"

But I say, "I'll be with you until you can feel safe."

真実

真実が知りたかった
一点の曇りもない事実
嘘が嫌いな私らしい欲望
だけどこの世のどこを探しても
真実など無いことも知っている
在るのは事実だけ

私を想って創ってくれた真実を
歪めて受け取ったのはこの私で
それで涙を流すなんて
なんて自分勝手だったんだろう

だからこれからは
君が創った真実の上で
上手に踊ろうと思うよ

君がくれた「瞳を信じろ」という言葉の意味が
やっと分かった気がする

glass

次の命をつなぐ事を止めてまで

君は一体何を守ろうとしているの？

君が崖の上で「平気だよ」って

笑って見せてること僕は知ってるよ

君は心が綺麗すぎだよ

だから誰も手を伸ばせないんだよ

だけどどうしても惹かれてしまうよ

こんな勇気のない僕を君は好きだと言う

何度も泣かせたのに何度も背を向けたのに

それでも君は僕に微笑みかける

僕がずるいこと君は知っているのかな？

なんの約束もしないでただ君の笑顔を見ていたい

君は疑うことを知らないからとても心配だよ

いつか壊れてしまうんじゃないかって不安だよ

だからそっと見守っていること

君は気づいているのかな？

ほらありのままの僕を見てよ

ずるいって言ってよ

僕のこと嫌いになってよ

だけどお願いだからひとりにしないで

No more assumption

We haven't had enough time to get the word.
Mnay assumptions made me blind.

I don't know all what you saw,
I don't know all what you felt,
and I don't know all what you decided.

As same as me, you talk only important things.

I don't ask you to give me the word any more.
I finally realized it's too early.
I'm sorry about that.

I don't hide any more.

The fact that you respect me is enough for me so far.
You are the only one can make my day.

Even though

Created a new formula to understand this situation.
It makes sense so far, but it's not what I want.
I wanna believe it's not wrong, and there are many answers in this world.

These days, we're getting to know each other.
It takes a long time just because you and I are like this.

Even though I won't be able to be the one,
I can see your smile.

I hope I'll be satisfied with my answer.

Nevertheless

Even if you say you're not worthy,
I still like you.

Even if you don't like me any more,
I still like you.

Because I've already found the reason why we met.
Because I'm stronger than I've been before.

Even if you're afraid of pain,
I don't choose the future, but NOW.
Cause nobody knows the future, right?

I don't wanna change you.
I don't wanna want you any more.

You are you.
I am me.
That's it.

I really like the time to talk with you about our life.
So let's be friends. Not just friends, not lovers.

I make you smile when the sky is gray.
I could find myself thanks to you.
I'm pretty sure that these are the reasons why we met.

a letter from my best friend

Dear awesome, beautiful, spirited friend,

I am glad that we had a chance to talk. I enjoy talking to students who have a high potential to become a great and awesome leader in the future. I enjoy talking to students who are really trying to understand how to plan their life in order to soar to new heights. Don't ever stop expecting because then you lose hope and fall into frustration, boredom, and negativity. However, you cannot inwardly expect something of someone without letting them know (communicating) what you expect of them. If you don’t ever communicate your expectations, for sure you will be disappointed. Does this mean that you will never be disappointed, of course. But pick yourself up and keep going.

Also, you need to be in love with yourself, before you can expect someone else to love you.

Be positive! Be thankful for the blessings that you have! Reach out!

Sometimes, I see a light - a candle - burning dimly, but hidden under a basket. But, if the basket is removed, then that light has more reason to burn brightly and becomes visible for a very long distance. You are that candle burning, but hidden under the basket. I believe in you, more than you believe in yourself. I believe that you have the intelligence, EQ, ability, and characteristics, to be a GREAT leader. You need to remove that basket so everyone can see you become a great leader. I know that you can shine. Don't hide under the basket; let your light shine brightly.

If you want others to believe in you; then you have to believe in yourself. Let it shine! Because that is what I see.

You have to be on top. You have to see – visualize - see the vision to achieve your mission of becoming a great leader.

My friend, I am your fan because you are starting your journey to become a great leader.

Hugs from your teacher, mentor, and fan.

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