Here I am again. This time I'm going to make a depressing post. If you want to stop reading, you should stop at this point. You've been warned.
The last seven or so years have been nothing but hellish. My family has always been too strict with me. They wanted me to study hard, get the highiest grades in the class and go to university. They never allowed me to have fun or do things I enjoyed because they were afraid that I'd be distracted from my studies. I loved music and wanted to learn how to play the electric guitar but of course I couldn't. Even when I tried to start electric guitar lessons about two years ago, it turned out that my teacher didn't even know what an electric guitar is. Thankfully, I was at least able to listen to music. Music was -and still is- the only thing that gave me strength and courage to keep going.
Since music was so special for me, I wanted to support the artists and spread the word about them some way. Who knows, if enough people got to know about them, maybe they'd include Greece in one of their European tours too! Without much thought, I started trying in 2009. Unfortunately, I never had any support from people who supposedely shared my enthousiasm nor the fans. Lots of them told me I'd never do it and that it wasn't even worth trying. Others sabotaged me -in a secret or apparent way. Some others pretended to be my friends only to use me, sabotage me more effectively or steal my ideas and then disappear when they didn't need me anymore.
Those "friends" I've mentioned above weren't the only ones that were fake. All of the "friends" I've had in my life were like that, from those I've met during my first year at school to those I've made last year. I've been bullied, called names, backstabbed, threatened to be killed... Some of them didn't even hesitate to resort to physical violence and hit me to the point my whole body was covered in bruises. I've had those who pretended that they cared about me and wanted to listen to my problems only to satirize said problems and I. I don't know why. Maybe I'm too weird, too different, too ugly. Or perhaps they're the ones who are too "ugly" for me.
I've reached the point where I believe that I should probably give up on my dream -and I've kind of given up already- no matter how sad it sounds. I mean, there's nothing I can do anymore and if I keep trying I'll only keep getting disappointed and wasting my time. What I wanted to do has already been achieved to a point, even though I didn't have anything to do with it -at least not directly... I don't really know what to do from now on. I've currently focused on university and hope to graduate soon. I have no idea what I'm going to do afterwards but I'll find something. I started collecting Monster High and Ever After High dolls this year. I also got my first BJD this year -I'm planning to show her to you next time. I'd love to learn how to sew clothes and make wigs for my dolls, as well as reroot and repaint them. Other than that, I've got way too used to being alone and too distrustful that I think my only friend will be the darkness in my soul. For now, at least.