The light turns green, as it usually does...and as they usually do, the drivers in the cars in front of me accelerate with the vigor of a two-legged turtle with blisters. Normally, breathing deep, staring off into to space, and zoning out to my latest never-illegally-downloaded-super-jammin' mix CD keeps me sane. But today is different.
Today...was maid day at my apartment. That's right, maid day. And for the past four weeks, my place had looked like a combo of the aftermath of the craziest rock concert known to man, and the remnants of laundry day gone very, very bad.
In my defense, I have a somewhat filthy roommate who regularly assembles a small army of friends who tend to leave pizza boxes and/or their pet dirt behind when they finally leave. Day to day, these occurrences add up, and so does the mess. Personally, I never notice the odor, but a few new guests have pointed out an arrant smell of aged cheese. Sure I could clean up after them, but honestly, why should I? My rent includes once-a-month maid service!
In my eyes, the maid will appreciate the challenge. And when she's done, she'll leave with a sense of accomplishment; a feeling of really having done something good for herself and her community. Plus, my mother always taught me that I should always clean up after myself, which in turn, by rule, makes it wrong to clean up after someone else...
Back in the car, the light is hanging on to the last leg of greenness and I JUST WANT TO GET HOME!!! The light turns red. The longer I sit in this over-heating mass of engines, metal, and fumes, the more I fall deeper and deeper in love with my wonderful, large, fairly priced, apartment.....with maid service.
Finally, I pull through the pearly gates of my apartments. I swear the place had never looked so beautiful. I mean it's an incredible property, but I could almost hear the angels singing as I drove the posted 17 mph past the lush landscaping, sparkling pool, and beautiful courtyard. After a day like mine, home will always be heaven. I smile as I pull into my space. I know from many 萬隆印尼 of nights spent partying and walking that my front door is only 27 steps away and my couch is only 8 more. I feel like I am almost effortlessly floating towards my door. Home at last!
Unlocking the door with my key, I turn the knob, and slowly open the door. The door shuts behind me as my mouth drops from what I see. "Dude, the maid didn't come. Must be sick or something," my roommate muttered from the couch, sprawled out, half asleep, and watching soap operas on my 42" television.
Part of me wanted to scream, part of me wanted to pray, part of me wanted to strangle my roommate as the terrible feeling of a long crappy day replaced the heavenly feeling of coming home to a clean roommate free house. But all I could do was stand there disappointed for a moment and reflect. "You didn't call the office?," I quietly asked.
"Naw man, they don't like me up there. I'm not on the lease. Plus I'm not on the lease," he said as he scratched his backside.
"That's just wonderful."
"I cleaned up a little, bro. I took out the trash that was on the porch."
Kicking a pizza box towards the couch, I made my way to my room with my head slowly shaking. I calmly opened the door, stepped into my room, and shut the door behind me. Suddenly, a smile crept up on my face as I remembered how clean and fresh my room was and completely isolated from Slobby McRoommate. No trash, no dirt, clean sheets, and my older yet still a good size and in great working condition TV. It's not a flat screen, but it will do. The woes of my day began to disappear and the goodness made its way back in. I plopped down on my futon, clutching a pillow in one hand and laying back. A long sigh of relief overcame me. As I stared at the spinning ceiling fan an even more wonderful thought hit me...my lease was up and I could find my own place!
You've been asked to do the honors for your friend at her wedding. You need to be aware that there is much more to it than holding the bouquet during the ceremony.
Probably the most important job you will have is keeping the bride somewhat calm and sane from planning to the wedding. It will be a nonstop responsibility for you to utilize every stress-busting technique known to man! Listen to her when she needs an ear. Make sure she's eating.
Shopping may be the next most important duty you will have. You may be asked to assist the bride in shopping for her dress. You will be in charge of helping the bridesmaids choose and buy their dresses. You may also be called into service to shop for the cake, caterers, photographer, anything that can be purchased. In tandem with this is helping with tasks such as addressing envelopes.
You will be in charge of planning and throwing the bachelorette party. The bridal shower is also your responsibility. Be sure to keep track of all gifts the bride receives at any function. This will aid her greatly when it comes time to send thank you notes.
Now the big day has arrived. No time to rest on your laurels yet. You need to make sure that the bridesmaids are at the ceremony, dressed and ready on time. The same goes for the bride. Make sure she is dressed and everything is in place. Check her veil, train and hair. You'll need to do this before the wedding begins and again once you reach the altar.
You will be in possession of the groom's ring during the ceremony. You will also be in charge of the bride's bouquet.
Once the vows have been exchanged, you will sign the marriage license and dance with the best man during the first official dance.
Your final duty as maid of honor will be to toast the newlyweds. Then, you may enjoy the festivities!