Why Do We Owe Our Parents a Great Debt of Gratitude?
What has Buddha taught in the sutra on Great Debt of Gratitude to Parents? He reminds us that we owe our parents a great debt of gratitude and so need to fulfill our filial duty. Buddha also teaches us to rejoice over the fact that we have been born human and so must feel gratitude to our parents. He categorized it as the Ten Forms of Gratitude:
1. Gratitude of gestation and protection
2. Gratitude for enduring the pain of childbirth
3. Gratitude for forgetting the pain after the birth of the child
4. Gratitude for feeding and nourishment
5. Gratitude for providing the dry while enduring the wet
6. Gratitude for cleansing the filth
7. Gratitude for providing the sweet while enduring the bitter
8. Gratitude for committing evil for the sake of the child
9. Gratitude for being mindful of the child far away
10. Gratitude for being mindful of the child regardless of age
However, no matter how much we are told to accomplish our filial duty, we cannot do so from the bottom of our hearts. The reason is that we are suffering at present. Some people may even think, “If my parents never brought me to this world, I would not have to suffer so much.”
People who commit suicide show rebellion against their parents. They hold a grudge against their birth into this world. They show resentment to their parents by thinking “Why did you give birth to me, I didn’t ask to be born.” If parents talk about the hardships they have gone through raising their children and demand gratitude, one may respond, “You brought me to this world out of your own will. I didn’t ask.” If children say, “I wish I were never born,” that will be the end of discussion. How can parents respond?
Whether one can truly feel gratitude to one’s parents or not, it all depends on knowing the reason we were born, and to find that reason is the purpose of life. What is the meaning of life? Why are we living? What is the ultimate goal in life? What were we born to accomplish in life? If we do not know the reason we were born, then we will not understand why we have to be dutiful to our parents who brought us to this world and raised us. There is no concrete reason as to why we must be dutiful to our parents.
Though science and medicine have made great progress, the number of people committing suicide has not declined. “Day in, day out, we go to bed, get up, eat and use the restroom. Doing so, children grow to become adults,” said Ikkyu, the Zen priest. He also wrote, “A girl blossoms as a young woman, blooms as a bride, fades as a mother, and scatters as an old woman.” But what happens after that? If we liken death to destruction, human life may be thought of as a soap bubble.
Those who are blessed in life with many material things are trying to make their particle of life bubble to flow longer. But, it will burst for sure. Today, there are six billion people on earth. They are all like soap bubbles that are destined to burst. A soap bubble cannot continue floating forever. Then what is the point of living? Do we live for destruction?
People are worried about the old age and their pension. This is a problem while we are alive. But a soap bubble cannot continue to drift for eternity. What will happen after old age? No one makes an issue of this. Science and medicine are trying to keep the soap bubble from bursting for as long as possible. But why must a bubble that is bound to pop keep moving?
Our world of delusion is filled with suffering. People keep thinking, “Why do I alone have to suffer so much?” Compared to others whom they see as happy, they think they are the only ones who must endure such suffering. As the saying goes – “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” They keep pondering why they alone have to suffer so much. They do not realize that all people are suffering just the same.
When life becomes very difficult to live, people may even wonder, “Why did I have to be born? I didn’t ask to be born.” They find no gratitude to their parents for giving birth to them and raising them when they find life unbearable to live. Sakyamuni Buddha said, “Heaven above, earth below we were born with a single precious mission.”
Then what is that one and only purpose of life that we were born to fulfill? People tend to mistake way stations of life for the ultimate purpose of life. Going to school, getting a job, marrying and forming a family, building a house are all means for helping us to live. They are not the ultimate purpose of life.
Shinran Shonin asserted that it is to attain absolute happiness, or to enter the one world of no hindrance. The joy of getting accepted by a university does not last for long. But the joy of being saved by Amida Buddha lasts for eternity. It is the joy of entering the world of no hindrance, where obstacles do not cause us any hinder. And to experience that is why we were born human.
Morals and ethics do not deal with this fundamental reason of why we were born. In Buddhism, there is a concrete reason as to why. Why do we owe our parents a great debt of gratitude? Why must we show appreciation to our parents who brought us into the human world and raised us? It is because without our parents we would not have been born into human world, nor would we have the opportunity to listen to Buddhism. By listening to Buddhism, once we experience the great joy of being alive, for the first time we can realize the debt of gratitude we owe our parents.
On the other hand, no matter how much the youths are told to accomplish their filial duty, as long as they are not clear about the purpose of life such words are like water off a duck’s back. The reason is that they do not know the joy of having born human, and so they cannot fulfill their duty of filial piety toward their parents.
Our lives are like soap bubbles that will burst some day. And yet we live with all our might for what purpose? What should we do with such a short life? Buddhism answers this question. Whether we feel truly grateful to our parents or not, depends on whether we have realized the joy of being alive as human being right now.
Once we accomplish that purpose of life which makes us exult how wonderful that we were born human we will naturally feel grateful to our parents who brought us to this world. Morals and ethics also teach us to be dutiful to our parents but do not clarify just why. In this sense, whether we can make full use of morals and ethics or not depends on whether we find true happiness right now. We will realize why our lives, like soap bubbles that are bound to burst, are infinitely precious. Simultaneously, we cannot help but to make effort in fulfilling the debt of gratitude that we owe our parents. After all, without being born to this world and listening to Buddhism, how else could we experience the everlasting joy that makes us shout, “It is for this reason that I was born human. How glad I’ve lived my life. I’m the most blessed being alive on earth!”
What has Buddha taught in the sutra on Great Debt of Gratitude to Parents? He reminds us that we owe our parents a great debt of gratitude and so need to fulfill our filial duty. Buddha also teaches us to rejoice over the fact that we have been born human and so must feel gratitude to our parents. He categorized it as the Ten Forms of Gratitude:
1. Gratitude of gestation and protection
2. Gratitude for enduring the pain of childbirth
3. Gratitude for forgetting the pain after the birth of the child
4. Gratitude for feeding and nourishment
5. Gratitude for providing the dry while enduring the wet
6. Gratitude for cleansing the filth
7. Gratitude for providing the sweet while enduring the bitter
8. Gratitude for committing evil for the sake of the child
9. Gratitude for being mindful of the child far away
10. Gratitude for being mindful of the child regardless of age
However, no matter how much we are told to accomplish our filial duty, we cannot do so from the bottom of our hearts. The reason is that we are suffering at present. Some people may even think, “If my parents never brought me to this world, I would not have to suffer so much.”
People who commit suicide show rebellion against their parents. They hold a grudge against their birth into this world. They show resentment to their parents by thinking “Why did you give birth to me, I didn’t ask to be born.” If parents talk about the hardships they have gone through raising their children and demand gratitude, one may respond, “You brought me to this world out of your own will. I didn’t ask.” If children say, “I wish I were never born,” that will be the end of discussion. How can parents respond?
Whether one can truly feel gratitude to one’s parents or not, it all depends on knowing the reason we were born, and to find that reason is the purpose of life. What is the meaning of life? Why are we living? What is the ultimate goal in life? What were we born to accomplish in life? If we do not know the reason we were born, then we will not understand why we have to be dutiful to our parents who brought us to this world and raised us. There is no concrete reason as to why we must be dutiful to our parents.
Though science and medicine have made great progress, the number of people committing suicide has not declined. “Day in, day out, we go to bed, get up, eat and use the restroom. Doing so, children grow to become adults,” said Ikkyu, the Zen priest. He also wrote, “A girl blossoms as a young woman, blooms as a bride, fades as a mother, and scatters as an old woman.” But what happens after that? If we liken death to destruction, human life may be thought of as a soap bubble.
Those who are blessed in life with many material things are trying to make their particle of life bubble to flow longer. But, it will burst for sure. Today, there are six billion people on earth. They are all like soap bubbles that are destined to burst. A soap bubble cannot continue floating forever. Then what is the point of living? Do we live for destruction?
People are worried about the old age and their pension. This is a problem while we are alive. But a soap bubble cannot continue to drift for eternity. What will happen after old age? No one makes an issue of this. Science and medicine are trying to keep the soap bubble from bursting for as long as possible. But why must a bubble that is bound to pop keep moving?
Our world of delusion is filled with suffering. People keep thinking, “Why do I alone have to suffer so much?” Compared to others whom they see as happy, they think they are the only ones who must endure such suffering. As the saying goes – “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” They keep pondering why they alone have to suffer so much. They do not realize that all people are suffering just the same.
When life becomes very difficult to live, people may even wonder, “Why did I have to be born? I didn’t ask to be born.” They find no gratitude to their parents for giving birth to them and raising them when they find life unbearable to live. Sakyamuni Buddha said, “Heaven above, earth below we were born with a single precious mission.”
Then what is that one and only purpose of life that we were born to fulfill? People tend to mistake way stations of life for the ultimate purpose of life. Going to school, getting a job, marrying and forming a family, building a house are all means for helping us to live. They are not the ultimate purpose of life.
Shinran Shonin asserted that it is to attain absolute happiness, or to enter the one world of no hindrance. The joy of getting accepted by a university does not last for long. But the joy of being saved by Amida Buddha lasts for eternity. It is the joy of entering the world of no hindrance, where obstacles do not cause us any hinder. And to experience that is why we were born human.
Morals and ethics do not deal with this fundamental reason of why we were born. In Buddhism, there is a concrete reason as to why. Why do we owe our parents a great debt of gratitude? Why must we show appreciation to our parents who brought us into the human world and raised us? It is because without our parents we would not have been born into human world, nor would we have the opportunity to listen to Buddhism. By listening to Buddhism, once we experience the great joy of being alive, for the first time we can realize the debt of gratitude we owe our parents.
On the other hand, no matter how much the youths are told to accomplish their filial duty, as long as they are not clear about the purpose of life such words are like water off a duck’s back. The reason is that they do not know the joy of having born human, and so they cannot fulfill their duty of filial piety toward their parents.
Our lives are like soap bubbles that will burst some day. And yet we live with all our might for what purpose? What should we do with such a short life? Buddhism answers this question. Whether we feel truly grateful to our parents or not, depends on whether we have realized the joy of being alive as human being right now.
Once we accomplish that purpose of life which makes us exult how wonderful that we were born human we will naturally feel grateful to our parents who brought us to this world. Morals and ethics also teach us to be dutiful to our parents but do not clarify just why. In this sense, whether we can make full use of morals and ethics or not depends on whether we find true happiness right now. We will realize why our lives, like soap bubbles that are bound to burst, are infinitely precious. Simultaneously, we cannot help but to make effort in fulfilling the debt of gratitude that we owe our parents. After all, without being born to this world and listening to Buddhism, how else could we experience the everlasting joy that makes us shout, “It is for this reason that I was born human. How glad I’ve lived my life. I’m the most blessed being alive on earth!”
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