Today the sun doesn't shine. It's cold, and sometimes it rains.
To be honest i'm totally bored, that's why i do this here.
[ http://translate.google.de/#auto/de/pv%20zk%20bschk%20pv%20zk%20pv%20bschk%20zk%20pv%20zk%20bschk%20pv%20zk%20pv%20bschk%20zk%20bschk%20pv%20bschk%20bschk%20pv%20kkkkkkkkkkkk%20bschk ] (google translater beatboxing)
At least i can chat with my girlfriend.
My door is wide open and slowly the smoke from my brother's room stings into my nose. I hate how smoke smells. It climbs down my throat and the taste just won't get away (¯ ^ ¯)
Of course i could go outside, into a mall or something comparable, but i guess my brain just needs the calmness. Sounds pretty weird.
I think when you're deeply depressed you can't just go outside when it's boring.
Once you're bored it influences your whole way to think.
Boreness has to burn itself into every spot of your body, until the only thing you can think of is how to kill yourself.
Luckily my girlfriend has the ability to cheer me up once i'm getting more and more depressed. I'm really lucky i got her.
Today's suicide thoughts-counter: (up until now) 102. (before my girlfriend cheered me up) 102.