bloody cunt

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nothing really

nothing really special happened to me, just the same ole same ole

hating my job and the dick heads that work with me

on the internet 24/7

paying bills

sleeping

cutting

fighting the thoughts in my head

introspective thinking

just my boring life (i dont even have one)

sometimes i wonder if im better off dead, well i dont know, maybe im disappointed how my life turned out, how i turned out and the mistakes i made.

but everybody makes mistakes, big and small

well anyway, lately, i been cutting alot, mostly at work, i carry a razorblade with me. i cut on my thighs.

i just gets so stressed out and frustrated, but i feel better when i do it.

i now its not healthy and bad for me

i also been listening to flyleaf alot. i love their music, it inspires me to face another day with a smile on face, and also the girls vioce, and the guitar riffs are really powerful.

so happy and relieve

i had to do without internet and cable for a while, because i move to a new location,

but i just got it back today.

im so happy

my new house is alright, its just that the AC doesnt get the rooms as cool like the apartments, i guess im so used to living there.

i like it when the rooms are really cold, i sleep better.

oh well, i guess i'll have to wait until winter, i love cold weather

hate changes

i went to see our new house, it was okay, look pretty good, not big and fancy (i hate being poor) （Ｔ＿Ｔ）, i guess i never gave it a chance,

i hate change so much

it's just that i hate moving, im so used to staying in the apartment. it takes me a long time to adjust to a new environment, and feel comfortable with it

im staying in the apertment for a few days to clean up the mess, its empty. but i like it this way, nothing but cigarettes, tv, internet and alittle food

its not going to last long though, my mother is returning the key, sometimes this week

it'll be really funny if the manager comes in and see me sleeping on the floor

hate this shit

so.... were moving into that shitty house so, i want be having internet for a while

i really dont want to live to there.

im never going to go outside, going to probably quite my shitty job

lately i been eating alot, and i probably gained so much weight, like, what the fuck is wrong with me, i guess its because im on my period right know. im going to try to stop eating for awhile,

going to starv myself to death, atleast i'll be super skinny.

......IDK

i just cant stop thinking about that shitty house we might move into. i really hope we move into an bigger appartment. its not that im picky, its just that it doent look nice

i just sick of the disappointments that occur in my life

its not fucking fair

i been cutting again, because i gave in to the urges