Even after being in a straight relationship for years, a woman could occasionally sense that something is "off," leading her to wonder if her spouse is homosexual.
Although Bonnie Kaye, M.ED., an expert on women married to homosexual men, believes that 4 million women have been or are married to gay person, many women find this question incomprehensible but if manage to take the gay test from your partner that will surely help you.
If a husband is gay, it might ruin not only the marriage but also the connection with the straight wife.
Signs of a Gay Husband – Is My Man Gay?
The clearest way to know if your husband is gay is if he tells you. If the husband is honest with both you and with himself (read: How Do I Know If I Am Gay? Signs You Are Gay), that is when you can truly know that he is gay.
Unfortunately, it is estimated that 50% of gay husbands hide their homosexuality from their wives and don't reach this place of honesty on their own.
In many cases, it is the wife, who after suspecting that something is wrong, must confront the gay husband with the evidence, and only then can honestly be achieved.
But if you're wondering, "Is my man gay," it might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, according to Kaye. Kaye has developed the Official Gay Husband Checklist to help women know if their husbands are gay.
Signs Your Husband or Man May Be Gay
Kaye's checklist includes:1
There is a decline of sexual activity early in your marriage that never picks up again. He tries to convince you that all relationships have a decline in sex even when you've only been together for a few years.
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He is turned-off by normal sexual activity and accuses you of being oversexed, aggressive, or a nymphomaniac when you have normal sexual needs.
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His sexual performance is more mechanical than passionate with a lack of satisfying foreplay.
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He claims he is "depressed" and will blame his depression or medication for depression for his lack of sexual desire for you.
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You find sexual enhancers such as Viagra (sildenafil citrate) or Cialis (Tadalafil) hidden in his private hiding places, but you know he hasn't made any attempt to have sex with you.
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He tells you that he wants you to use sex toys on him because he needs his prostate stimulated or because he likes kinky sex.
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He erases the computer history on a regular basis.
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You find pop-ups of gay pornography on the computer while he claims they are not his.
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He spends excessive time texting people at irregular hours.
What If My Husband is Gay?
These signs a husband is gay are not meant to be definitive. A husband may be gay and display none of those signs or a husband may display these signs and not be gay.
These signs of a gay husband are designed as a starting point. Kayeinstrument advises that women "follow their instincts" when deciding whether their husband may be gay.
If it turns out that a husband is, in fact, gay, the fallout can be difficult to deal with, particularly for the straight partner. Many women find it much harder to accept that their husband is leaving them for another man rather than for another woman. The wife may experience:2
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Guilt
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Hurt and even rage at having been betrayed
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Devastation
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Shame
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Responsibility
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Repulsion
And the wife may wonder if anything was real about the partner she thought she knew so well. If you're thinking that you can cure the gay by having your husband go to gay conversion therapy.
What's important to remember is that the husband's homosexuality is entirely his responsibility and has nothing to do with the wife. The wife has not been inadequate in any way and likely the gay husband married her because he truly cared about her.
Some gay men believe that being married can rid them of their homosexuality. But, of course, this is not true. Having sexual attraction to the same sex is no one's fault and likely has been there since birth. More information about this article are available on youtube.