i used to b a little nice girl.



what happen to me?



i m not a little girl anymore.



my big sister tells me


"wait for a while,


dont give it to guy so quickly"


whatever-


i know that




what i am doing is not

what i want to do



and i suffer in the dull warm water



i used to b a nice little girl,


but anymore



why do we try to get something hard to get??


i think i should see the reality,


but i just dont want to give up.


Me being all naked,


walking on a brrige as i walk on it.



If i can be a bit more .... agressive?


no that is not like that.


i just cannot help it


knowing there is almost no hope.


i still want to get it.



i could be a bit more...


life doesnt go in the way u wish for.


i bite my finger, and just watching closely


what is going on...






at the same time,


i am braking my rule.



conflict.





i dont know what to do




i dont even know what i want


but "it"



what is "it" anyway



what do i even want "it", ha?




time goes by...


yeah, i know.



yeah i should admit that it not ganna be here



so what is the point of me being so unstable?



me stupid.



i wanna do something


something, i want to do


so badly.





i want you so bad,


even in other guys arms


i think about you,


that is crazy.





but i cannot do anything




cause i cannot say anything




cause i m into you already



shit!









i have no idea what gonna happen


when i corss the line.


the line is like a ....


very tasty dengrous sweets


trick or treat...



i have told me so many times

that i shouldnt go over the fence


cause there i have no de-fence.



if i could be a cat,


i jump over the fence,

without any hesitation



The more i think about it

the more world gets ccomplicated.



The world is so simple


it is the way things are.



Then, why not i ...


Shall i ....


No way.....


Too simple to eat.


Why dont u make an action?!


it is kinda like that.


Maybe, maybe not....



There is a saying like


"Do as u feel, not as u think"


if i do as what a "feel"


i will ruin my world


and could ruin others


like "Tower" card of tarot.



Well, then, there is nothing

i can do for that.



FEELINGS,


beyond my reason's reach.



Why not?