After that day... 1month passed... My feeling is calm down.
This 1month passed so quickly... during the term, I found a new job. So I am busy recently...
Then I have started to practice driving. If I get married, I need to drive... so I have to practice. Until the next Spring, I have lots of things to do. I will do my best for our future and believe him.
The cause was a very small thing... but our feelings didn't go the same way...
He didn't contact to me suddenly, I tried to send him e-mail and call him, but he didn't answer... about 1month.
Little by little... I couldn't believe him... because the cause was a really trivial thing... but he got angry with that... I was really disappointed... and really sad... I cried every nights... it was really sad period...
One day, I send him an e-mail and told that I want to see and talk to him. At that time, he replied to me soon!!! So I called him, but he didn't answer it... I asked him by the e-mail, so he said "I'm with my parents now" I was really disappointed... and really sad...again. I didn't know why I can't talk with him!! why he tried to talk with me!! I am not important for him than his parents!? I didn't know his feeling and what was he thinking at all... I tried to call him again and again... and finally he answered.
First, he talked about his job!! he told me how his job was hard... and he didn't stop talking... It was for 1month from the last call... but he didn't apology!!! so I couldn't say anything and I cried... and said him good-bye... Then he stopped talking... and said wait!! why??? I was really really really disappointed... I thought he was just thinking about himself...
After that he came to see me. At last, we could talk!! but my feeling was freeze. I didn't feel anything for him, I was not happy with him. I just said him my feeling that I can't believe you any more... I can't see our future... I can't get married with you. Then he realized my feeling. But he didn't say Yes... he said to me that please wait for a week and he promise me to stop smoking and change his mind. I didn't want to say Yes and didn't want to wait for him any more... but his mind didn't change. At that night, we couldn't reach the conclusion, so we stopped talking and went home...
After that he send me e-mail everyday even if I didn't answer it. That made me be positive and be happy little by little. 10days later, we met to talk about our relationship. That day was our 1st anniversary. 1year ago, we didn't think this situation at all...
That day, I went to a waiting point 5minutes earlier, but he already waited for me. He wore a cap!! that's right, he cut his hair very short to show his apology. I was really surprised.
First, he apologized me clearly and he promised me stopping smoking and make me happy forever. He hoped keeping our relationship. He showed me his true heart and told his real feeling.
At that time, I couldn't answer his proposal, because I decided a rule for us before see him. And I decided to say the rule if he said to me he wants to keep our relationship. The rule is ; Do not see and keep in touch until Spring. If he says "No"!! I would finish our relationship. If he says "Yes"!! we would start again...
Then... his answer was... "YES"!!! So we decided to keep our relationship without no contact and no dating until Spring. About 6 months.... it is long period... but we need time to grow up each other. I believe that we can do it!! We can keep our promise!! I BELIEVE!!!
When Spring has come, we could see with true hart for each other.
My friend gave me a message; If you are thinking he is your Mr.Right, you believe him.
And another friend said; Seeing the same way each other is important, not watching each other's face...
These messages made me be positive.
4months ago, I was really nervous about our future... because my friends were getting married in last 2years... I've been with him for a year, so I'm always thinking about our future... At that time, we don't have any plan...so I was really nervous... He was thinking about our future and always talking to me... but that's all... we don't have any detail plan... not for sure... so I was getting greedy... Maybe I wanted something certain one... something certain...
And now... I'm nervous again... because he is busy and there is no contact from him. I don't know why am I so nervous and sad... just have no contact... I thought too much to eat a lot... and sleep...
This situation is not good for me!! so I tried to search on the internet about the same case and the solution. Then I found a blog that was written by a fortune teller. The title is "恋愛日記". The fortune teller says;
For men, the most important thing is JOB. For women, the most important thing is LOVE. The structure of the brain is different. So when men are getting busy, they forget about LOVE. They can not think about LOVE and not contact with women. But women try to contact with men and they can not have reply. Just wait for him. Do not jump to a conclusion. When his job is not so busy, he will go back to you. Just wait for him.
So just believing and waiting for him are the best answer.
Now I'm waiting for him... until his job becomes less busy...
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書きたいという気持ちが起こらなくなっていた
I believe myself 信じることで全てが始まる気がするの
信じることが全てLove so sweet
信じているただ信じてる同じ時を刻む人へ
２人でも進化
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