Even as a Life Coach, I have my difficulties with my three teens. Talking and having regular discussions is the key element for successful parenting. When I had the exact same stuck state with my youngest daughter now 14, simply this early morning. I attempted to remain as calm as I can. I was grieving how I got into this stuck state. She appeared to be venting about how irritating I was. When I asked her what was the annoying part, she could not relate to the particular incidents.
Understanding
She shared that when she talk to me, she felt that I believed it was a wild-goose chase and walk away. It's so intriguing to hear how she view what I do. I leave believing she did not need an answer from me and also when I hear her intonation that sounded angry. I did not wish to remain in that energy and get triggered into being angry myself. We discussed facial expressions and intonation. She felt that she was not angry. So we had different perception and point of view. The good thing was we were speaking our minds.
Empathise
Finally, what she desired from me was to empathise by saying "Relax. unwind, each time when she grumble about something or is stressed out." All she wanted is for me to listen right through and comfort her! That was an insight, a tip not to be disturbed by her tone of voice or venting. Not to think that she wants a solution. That was a mini-revelation.
Comprehending each other
I said to her that it is really important to keep having a dialogue like this so that we get to understand each other much better. We do have ups and downs , and there is no caution. We talked a bit about my menopause and her hormonal agents changes. How these changes in our body can play havoc to our moods. The most essential is to return to the fundamentals. Simply workout and let the hormonal agents balance. The other crucial thing is to let and forgive go of our past stories so that we don't spiral into drama.
The downs and ups belongs to the journey and that's how we alter, find out and grow . By continuing to talk, have dialogues like this, that is the trick to successful parent and teenagers relationships. Relationships are established through the effort we put into our communications. Comprehending what each other is thinking.
Do not bring your function from work to home
she stated, "There is no such thing as perfect parent." I absolutely agreed with her. She added, "I just desire you to be a typical parent." I was wondering what is a regular parent. Then she said, "Just like when you are a principal, when you go home don't end up being a principal, so strict with your kids." Ha! I got it. She said, "Don't bring your coaching thing house." We simply don't wish to hear you training us. Thanks for reminding me!
Positive Feedback
I showed her that I am really proud of her, highlighting how she have lists for her to-do-list. How she kept to her word. When she speak calmly, I like it. The ending was sweet. She fried omelet for Additional reading me. My feedback to her was that this small gesture showed that she cares for me and I am very grateful, I enjoy it. Time to celebrate.
Just this early morning when I had the exact same stuck state with my youngest child now 14. I was grieving how I got into this stuck state. When I asked her what was the annoying part, she could not relate to the particular incidents.
Simply exercise and let the hormonal agents balance. We just don't desire to hear you training us.