I have to say that those nerf bars were glisteni
Man, I have to say that those nerf bars were glistening like a couple of sterling straws from a heavenly malt shop. But Im happy to say that the only damage to my nerf bars were a bit of gore, which hosed right off. The rest is all an achy haze. I had to turn on the afterburners to get under it, and then it took a last-second dive to catch that sucker. Did you know that Nerf is actually an acronym for Non-Expanding Recreational Foam? Well, I know that, and now you know it as well, along with my level of Nerf geekdom. Then, I just ease off my death grip, and it pops right back into place. I told my Uncle Devon that I was going long, and I tore off down the field. My next move was to add some step bars so my mother wouldnt have to agitate her sciatica climbing into the cab.The only thing I enjoy more than smothering a Nerf is accessorizing my F-150.Good as new. My online order arrived about 2344 steel Company a week later, and it only took about an hour to bolt those bad boys into place. Unfortunately, I didnt realize that I had high-stepped it into the parking lot.To begin with, I should say that Ive been an avid Nerf fanatic since I gripped my first of many pink and black Turbo Juniors back in 84. It almost came down to a coin toss, but my inner dawg told me to go with Nasta.After doing my research, I found that a lot of people were raving about Westin nerf bars and Nasta nerf bars. Sure, there are no similarities between my neon toys and those stainless steel and powder-coated nerf bars, but I knew I had to get a set. I guess you could say that I feel like Nero at the Coliseum or an instrument of God when Im choking the life out of my Nerf toys and then sparing them at that last minute.Feeling like a million bucks, I decided to toss the ol foam around, which turned out to be a terrible idea. When I started looking around, I was pleasantly puzzled to see that these steps were being called nerf bars. All balls must respect my grip. Unfortunately, Devon was a second-string QB at his community college, so he released a Hail Mary that was big enough to absolve even Cain..Now, there were a couple of cuties in cutoffs hanging around, so I decided to let loose with my Nerfing skills. Ive already got a paint-matched Gaylords tonneau cover, a 4 Fabtech lift with 36 BF Goodrich rubbers, and every piece of Putco chrome I could get my hands on. So when I came down with my Nerf ball, my head clipped the side of my new Nasta nerf bar. I cant explain it, but holding that football gives me an unbelievable feeling of masculine power. With one flex of my arm muscles, I can pinch that sucker down into nothing more than a helpless wad. To show off my latest upgrade, I rounded up my Mom and Uncles and cruised down to the park on the next sunny Saturday afternoon. I cant remember a whole lot about that day, except waking up on a gurney and seeing those two cuties in cutoffs staring at me from the back of the crowd of gawkers that had gathered around the ambulance.I lost a lot of blood from the silver dollar-sized flap of skin that scraped off my scalp, and it took a few days before I stopped seeing double
