Today I woke up with a lot of anxiety.
I went to bed after an argument last night.
So I sniffed on my lavender oil and dabbed a few drops onto my wrists.
Last night I scratched myself in the shower, before bed. I was too coward to cut myself with a razor. Scratching works fine though. 
I keep getting more and more anxious and depressed about my life. I don't see much hope anymore and I'm honestly giving it up. 
Living everyday as just another day until I feel like I'm ready to end it all, or wait for the best and life end me for good.
But I could vent a little with my coworkers earlier today and I felt a little better. I think the lavander oil did its job too.
Money is making me anxious too. This month will be a tough one. I had to get a new bag for work and it wasn't even in my plans for this month. there it goes a lot of bucks that could be used for food. I'll be anxious over money this whole month 
there it goes a lot of bucks that could be used for food. I'll be anxious over money this whole month I'm considering jumping off a really high building. It's very, very unlikely that I'd survive it, would probably be painful but quick enough. Unfortunately it would disfigure my body and face so I might leave a letter asking for a cremation.
I'd have to book for a reservation at some hotel and at one of their highest floors. But not now. Still got some stuff to check out of my to-do list before I go.
