I knew I was chubby, but didn't really care much.
I loved eating, so I couldn't restrict food anyways. And my mom loves cooking for us so I thought it would hurt her feeling if I didn't eat the stuff she made.
I tend to fall in love easily. Well not really. I will think about that someone 24/7, but my shy personality gets in the way of my love life. I haven't had a boyfriend since the sixth grade, and that was the only experience I had too.
I knew I had to change.
So I decided to go on a diet.
I jump roped for 40minutes everyday, ate only few bites of low calorie food, and restricted myself to sugar and fat. I kept track of every single calorie I took.
And I lost 6 kilograms- in maybe 7 months. Everyone noticed. I loved the attention.
When I entered high school, my life really changed. I was CONFIDENT. Something I never was before. I made many, many friends, in different grades, guys and girls, and was even asked to model.
I guess I went too far with the popularity and nearly pushed myself to the edge. I didn't give myself the nutrition and rest I needed. I lost control of myself. I became anorexic and soon, I had to run to get help. I was diagnosed with bulimia and depression.
I still can not control my apetite. Food is my frenemie. Fat has pushed the confidence and energy out of me.
I am beautiful.
But I am not confident.
Fashion, attention, beauty, people.
---- those are my essential elements of life.
But to keep these elements running in my system, having extra weight will hold me down and will limit my actions.
So I decided, to change myself.
My eating habits.
How I think of things.
My attitude, confidence, loyalty.
Learn to control stress.
Know that I don't need to be PERFECT and just learn to accept the real me.
I pledge to drop my weight from 50kilos to 35kilos.
I will not rush myself, starve myself, hurt myself.
I am seventeen. I still have nine months until I turn eighteen. My goal will be reached by then.
I am going to be famous. I am going to have beauty inside and out.
I am going to become a better person, a daughter, friend, sister, student, employee.
I am me.
