120723

I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.
I try so hard to control what I eat. I just want to be my ideal weight and it hasn't happened since last year. I have to eat nothing in order for it to work. It's the only way.

120718

I'm having one of those days where I hate myself, my body and how I look.
Which is every day, of course.

The only way I lost weight was from starving myself for a few weeks. I don't know how I did it, but I have not been able to do that since. I just can't help myself anymore with eating. I just eat what I like, but it's catching up.

I just want to be happy with my weight and looks for once. I hate feeling ugly.

120709

I'm such a restless person.

I can't stop thinking about the future, what I'm going to do next, how I am going to spend my days. This is why I never see myself settling down or living in one place for the rest of my life - I am impatient and always eager to move on to something else.

I've already made a list of things I want to do when I return home - which isn't for another 5 days. I hate how my mind is always stuck in the time to come rather than the present. It could help me finish things promptly for once.

120702

Whenever I volunteer for something I get fucked over.
Whenever I try to do something nice for someone, it inconveniences me more than it helps them.
Honestly, I'm sick of doing good deeds and helping people.
So why do I keep falling into this trap of being the nice guy (or girl, rather)?

120626

I thought I wouldn't miss home.
I thought my homesick feelings would dissipate by now. But I hate being unhappy here. I wasn't always unhappy, but it's hard to transition to a new environment.

It doesn't help that I have a fever and a sickness formulating, too.
I hate to say it, but I can't wait for these few weeks to be over.