Distance?

Yesterday went out with S and nic. They have changed so much, or maybe they have remained the same and what has changed is me, or maybe I have remained the same too? A sense of pathos as we distance part somehow. People change as time passes like a 'winged chariot' as in the famous phrase from a poem. Some things don't change, people's true nature albeit how much it is disguised, that I do believe.

Listening to the song Venus by Theatre of tragedy. This is the song my name is inspired by. Another song with the name venus is Venus Doom by HIM, which I also love. The former has got my attention the first time.Also listening to Sirenia The Other Side. Trying to fully comprehend the meaning of the song but there is always ambiguity in it. You can interpret it the way one sees it. One reasons why I love music is it is always open to interpretion depending on who it is. The music video is beautiful and dark, and at the same time as a wisp of sweet innocence in it.

Intro

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First time coming to this place. So well I really don't have much to say for now. Trying to figure how to use thing around here. Thinking back of the days when I used xanga, yahoo and msn blog, and now turning to a rather "Alternative' choice, like my usual preferences for 'Alternative' things lol. The only difference is this place is ONLY meant for me, and not for everyone else I know inclkuding friends to scrutinize. Kinda a like a private refuge, at the time desiring for exposure to the public half my soul. Never entirely. I don't even know my soul in a holisti c way to reveal to others.+

Listening to tears of laughter by Diary of Dreams. Feeling rather empty today its an undescriable feeling, just between the thin line of happiness and sadness. Neutral but something more than neutral. It is not like I never lapse into deep deep sadness or find myself full of joy but not today all I can say.