ahhhhhhhhhh
perhaps this is the last place i can run to.
definitely makes me feel better since no one knows this place. perhaps i just want some random people to read my blog, thats the reason why i didnt put it as a private post.
i remember my ex girfriend told me that
" 1/2 a year, 1 year perhaps you would have long forgotten about the feelings you had for me ". thats what she said, now that i start thinking about it, its already been coming to a year since she said those words.
but i wonder how true is that.
more like
i wonder how she feels now.
i often really wish i had the power to read people's mind and know what they are thinking.
but i guess it doesnt matter anymore. i was watching slow dance, a japanese drama.
one of the line was, if you are waiting, you will have a hope.
im always stuck in a moment, more like stuck in a moment where by i dont know whether i want to find someone that i could lean on, romantically, emotionally. to put it simple i do find myself pretty sissy in the sense im not that " mentally " strong as a guy. why? cause i just " care " too much about everything.
sucks.
no wonder they said you can never lie to your heart. but thats what i want to do. lie to your heart and close your emotions away.
ah whatever, im already turning cranky. god damn it.
definitely makes me feel better since no one knows this place. perhaps i just want some random people to read my blog, thats the reason why i didnt put it as a private post.
i remember my ex girfriend told me that
" 1/2 a year, 1 year perhaps you would have long forgotten about the feelings you had for me ". thats what she said, now that i start thinking about it, its already been coming to a year since she said those words.
but i wonder how true is that.
more like
i wonder how she feels now.
i often really wish i had the power to read people's mind and know what they are thinking.
but i guess it doesnt matter anymore. i was watching slow dance, a japanese drama.
one of the line was, if you are waiting, you will have a hope.
im always stuck in a moment, more like stuck in a moment where by i dont know whether i want to find someone that i could lean on, romantically, emotionally. to put it simple i do find myself pretty sissy in the sense im not that " mentally " strong as a guy. why? cause i just " care " too much about everything.
sucks.
no wonder they said you can never lie to your heart. but thats what i want to do. lie to your heart and close your emotions away.
ah whatever, im already turning cranky. god damn it.
weird blogging system ですね
thank god i can read japanese words, well not really but i understand whats goin on ! i wonder if it would be even safe for me to type things out here on this blog, i doubt people are smart enough to be able to google out a website from japan.
さあああ。
nah i shant type my year one standard japanese, thought it might be lame especially when i type on a japanese website. everyone would just prolly think that im dumb.
today is chinese new year, doesnt even feel like it. i can't remember the last time when i ate a proper reunion dinner. all the fancy nice restaurants doesnt even fancy me anymore, after eating so many years ( since i have been alive for 19 years ), i just want to have a meal that makes me feel like im part of... a family?
maybe this blog is good to keep secrets anyway, since no one in japan knows me anyway. oh well. thought i still have a little diffculty to reading al the words here.
the good thing is that i speak mandarin, so i can read or understand the kanji. HA!
was reading emyli's blog. sometimes its hard to believe shes as old as me and she already has so much exposure and experience in life. oh well. and she even has the time to blog, thats even more amazing.
幸せはなんですか？意味は何ですか？
今朝の試験、i just screwed it up so badly.
(I) the emoticon for ideas.
maybe i shud just write half jap and half english ! HAHA then no would understand what im talking about, unless he or she understands both language. but even if that person knows 2 languages, i can throw another with chinese. or maybe indo. my my nevermind, it must be today's exam that drove me mentally unstable.
happy chinese new year, japan! ( i dont even know if you guys even know what it is ) HAHA
じゃね。
さあああ。
nah i shant type my year one standard japanese, thought it might be lame especially when i type on a japanese website. everyone would just prolly think that im dumb.
today is chinese new year, doesnt even feel like it. i can't remember the last time when i ate a proper reunion dinner. all the fancy nice restaurants doesnt even fancy me anymore, after eating so many years ( since i have been alive for 19 years ), i just want to have a meal that makes me feel like im part of... a family?
maybe this blog is good to keep secrets anyway, since no one in japan knows me anyway. oh well. thought i still have a little diffculty to reading al the words here.
the good thing is that i speak mandarin, so i can read or understand the kanji. HA!
was reading emyli's blog. sometimes its hard to believe shes as old as me and she already has so much exposure and experience in life. oh well. and she even has the time to blog, thats even more amazing.
幸せはなんですか？意味は何ですか？
今朝の試験、i just screwed it up so badly.
(I) the emoticon for ideas.
maybe i shud just write half jap and half english ! HAHA then no would understand what im talking about, unless he or she understands both language. but even if that person knows 2 languages, i can throw another with chinese. or maybe indo. my my nevermind, it must be today's exam that drove me mentally unstable.
happy chinese new year, japan! ( i dont even know if you guys even know what it is ) HAHA
じゃね。