One thing I realized yesterday night was that despite my strong objections to the contrary I have a lot of fears. My son's in Cub Scouts and last night was their snow tubing event at the local ski resort. Sounds fun right? Not to me. I was totally freaking out. What if my back hurts? What if I get too cold to stay and that makes Jason angry? What if I fall down?
On and on and on it goes. So first thing's first, we go in, fill out the legal waivers and pay for the overpriced tubing tickets. Then we begin the surprisingly long walk over to the tubing area. Now, I didn't have good winter boots so the walk involved lots of slipping and sliding and in fact Jason had to pull me down a small hill because I simply could not walk. Instead I slid until I spun around facing him.
It was pretty funny although at the time I felt embarrassed and sad. Kind of like I was a burden. Anyway by the time we were almost to the tubes I had to take a break. My hip and lower back were screaming and the bottom of my very flat feet were cramping. I waited until jay and the kids went down the hill once then made my way over. I did go down the hill. First he had to help me walk from the top of the lift to the top of the hill lest I slip on my boots and end up at the bottom sans tube. Then I had a mild panic attack at the top of the hill. In fact as I sat down in the tube and he was getting ready to push me to go down the hill I was saying "Oh my God I can't do this." LOL Yeah. Fear.
I have a fear of heights. Anyway, down I went. It was fun and the tube was comfortable on my back so no pain! It was great! I did it and because I had overcome a big moment of fear the euphoric feeling was really strong. I ended up only going down once more but I had a good time, overcame a few fears and had fun. I even fell. Twice. It was actually pretty funny, even if my leg is bruised today.
As for the rest of today, I'm planning on doing some cleaning, laundry and heading out to the library with the kids. I'm planning on making either chicken parm or ravioli for dinner, depending on how my back feels after I'm up doing stuff for a while.