I am in cafe at book store.
I have a backache right now.
Please get over my backache.
lateky, I was so lonley.
But now, I am not.
I got over the problem
I coped my stress by myself.
I can't grasp what I want to post about today.
I'll be back my study.
I am in starbacks.
as you know, here is my nice.haha
kind of my habitas, right?
I usually come here to study, read a book, or something like that.
I am sitting my favorite seat that in front of wide window.
I can see the street, people who are walking thourgh the light.
yeaterday night, my mom and I talked on the skype.
but I felt a little bit lonley when I listen her activity that my mom, my sister and my grand went to Kyoto to go shopping and have a fun.
I was envy to them.
yes, I know this is just my selfish feeling.
and I thought I should not talk with her.
because if I talked with my mom and listened her tales, I would change my feelings and want to go back Japan.
I am certain that I want to stay here and study a lot.
I am really happy to learn a lot of things in the United States.
this is amazing oppitunity for me.
and I have awoken to study since I came here and learned English.
I want to improve my English more until I can explan why I want to enter the collage to teacher who is in the collage and than I want to get chance to study collage and I want to transfer university as all in here.
I am sure I can do it.
but my effort is not enough that I do.
I could have efforted more.
I need to think about my future.
I am not ordinary person.
I am special.
that is why I need to effort more.
I think my next stage that is about my English is speaking more and memorizing more vocablaries.
I could uderstand most of garammar.
and I need to practice to write essay.
but this is I will be able to practice in my school from near level if i reached like 110 or something.
it is time to be real for me.
I'm really weak right now.
I've been feeling lonley recently.
How can I weed out this feeling?
I might be certan why I feel lonley.
because I've met Japanese who I could get along with each other for a month ago.
But they're gonna be going back to Japan 2 days later.
and I will turn back to be alone.
we went NY last weekend.
It was very fun, but also I felt dispress, and lonley.
Because they will be able to meet anytime even though going back to Japan.
Because they've been going to same university.
But I came here as alone.
and I have to be alone untill Aprile.
It is not problem for me.
I am glad to be here that I can be storong.
I just feel lonley sometimes.
that's it.
I think I'm in sentecive feling right now.
but also I understand as soon as getting over the feeling.
I heve some sick, too.
that's why...
everything is gonna be OK.
I'm sure I'm goona be OK.
I can do everythig I WANT.
bacause I have a beautiful heart.
God will must let me give a lot of happiness.
God must see my attitude, behav, evrythig..
I will never escape from difficult situation.
I'm not chicken.
I keep gonging to try evrythig that comming to me.
I never give up. I don't wanna give up.
I can figure evrythig out.
I can be getting rid of evrything that I want.
I have a lot of people who encourage me anytime and any myself.
I LOVE YOU, ALL SO SO SO MUCH!!!!
I really miss you.
