2008/03/12
もうどうにもならない。
壊すのは一瞬で。
どんなに時間をかけても、もとには戻らない。
後悔しても仕方がないから、前を向いて進むしかない。
もともと、終わると判ってた。
ただ、こんな風に終わるはずではなかったんだ。
傷つけて、終わるはずではなかったんだ。
ごめんもありがとうも意味がない。
自己満足にもならない。
壊れてしまったのだから。
わがままだったのは私。
冷たかったのは私。
変わらなかったのは私。
こどもだったのは私。
だけど反省も意味がない。
生かす場がないのだから。
悲しくない。
苦しくもない。
未練もない。
ただ、ただ、漠然と寂しい。
満たされないと思ってたけど、心が空っぽになったってことは、ほんとうは満たされてたんだね。
どうにもならない。
どうにもならない。
どうにも、ならない。
やっぱり、悲しいかもしれない。
幸せになってね。
壊すのは一瞬で。
どんなに時間をかけても、もとには戻らない。
後悔しても仕方がないから、前を向いて進むしかない。
もともと、終わると判ってた。
ただ、こんな風に終わるはずではなかったんだ。
傷つけて、終わるはずではなかったんだ。
ごめんもありがとうも意味がない。
自己満足にもならない。
壊れてしまったのだから。
わがままだったのは私。
冷たかったのは私。
変わらなかったのは私。
こどもだったのは私。
だけど反省も意味がない。
生かす場がないのだから。
悲しくない。
苦しくもない。
未練もない。
ただ、ただ、漠然と寂しい。
満たされないと思ってたけど、心が空っぽになったってことは、ほんとうは満たされてたんだね。
どうにもならない。
どうにもならない。
どうにも、ならない。
やっぱり、悲しいかもしれない。
幸せになってね。
leaving
i'm leaving here in two weeks.i've had so many things which changed my life and myself alot here.i've met so many great ppl who also changed me.cant believe how fast the years past.
i won't get much chances to see my great friends after i leave here.i know i will meet new ppl there, but still, i'll miss my friends alot...
oh i thought he would leave japan in march, but again, he seems to have changed his mind.its for his new job to stay longer.hope he will be able to success his new business.i cant help him and he doesnt need me to, but cant help worrying about it.
i should get over him and move on.i'm even not suse if i still like him, or if he still like me.oh well...gonna go to sleep now.
i won't get much chances to see my great friends after i leave here.i know i will meet new ppl there, but still, i'll miss my friends alot...
oh i thought he would leave japan in march, but again, he seems to have changed his mind.its for his new job to stay longer.hope he will be able to success his new business.i cant help him and he doesnt need me to, but cant help worrying about it.
i should get over him and move on.i'm even not suse if i still like him, or if he still like me.oh well...gonna go to sleep now.
dunno why
sometimes, i feel so lonely for no reason.
even when i'm talking and laughing with my good friends, i feel like i've completely lost my way.
just being deep down with no feelings except for the loneliness.
i could cry, but i don't.
i could talk to my friends, but i don't.
i could just run away, but i don't.
cos there's no reasons.
there's nothing to grieve about, talk about, and i have no idea where to go.
so i just write down my feelings.
it doesn't make any differences.i'm still lonely.
but whatelese i could do?
i miss your smell, arms, warmth, kiss, hug, voice, eyes, hair, and everything.
i bet you don't miss my anything.
i'm glad you are totally secure and having sweet dreams, but i might be a bit glad if you care about me enough to miss my something.
i feel tired, but can't be bothered just going into the cold bed.
i wanna go to bed in a better mood with a sense of achievement or smt like that.
oh well, the other morning'll come soon.
hopefully, tmr might be a good one.
i know the moment that you think of me will come in the morning.
i should be happy that you know me, you like me, you mail me everyday.
loneliness always make me forget how happy i am.
ok, the loneliness's still in my mind, but at least i think i can go to bed now.
hope it'll be a good night.
even when i'm talking and laughing with my good friends, i feel like i've completely lost my way.
just being deep down with no feelings except for the loneliness.
i could cry, but i don't.
i could talk to my friends, but i don't.
i could just run away, but i don't.
cos there's no reasons.
there's nothing to grieve about, talk about, and i have no idea where to go.
so i just write down my feelings.
it doesn't make any differences.i'm still lonely.
but whatelese i could do?
i miss your smell, arms, warmth, kiss, hug, voice, eyes, hair, and everything.
i bet you don't miss my anything.
i'm glad you are totally secure and having sweet dreams, but i might be a bit glad if you care about me enough to miss my something.
i feel tired, but can't be bothered just going into the cold bed.
i wanna go to bed in a better mood with a sense of achievement or smt like that.
oh well, the other morning'll come soon.
hopefully, tmr might be a good one.
i know the moment that you think of me will come in the morning.
i should be happy that you know me, you like me, you mail me everyday.
loneliness always make me forget how happy i am.
ok, the loneliness's still in my mind, but at least i think i can go to bed now.
hope it'll be a good night.