It always feels good to listen to old songs.
Different songs will bring back different memories and the feeling of nostalgia can be positive, can also be negative.
Usually, leads to a happy mood...
I'll scream NATSUKASHII!!!!! in my mind many times.
Why does it leads to a happy mood?
Well, maybe not really happy, but it's like being quite excited.
Maybe it's because the thought of real self?
I know it's bad, but I sometimes feel I keep clinging on, living in the past.
I wished I never grew up, I wished everything was the same as 20 years ago.
Maybe cos' I wish to run away from reality thus the thinking.
When we were young, there's nothing to worry at all.
The only thing would be "what time is dad & mum coming home?"
When we grow up, we realized there's a million things to decide, million things to worry, million things to think about.
Because we simply must be bothered.
And we realized reality is often cruel and we are not able to run away from it anymore.
People change, environment change, every single thing changes.
Change is essential and inevitable.
Change is difficult.
Change can be good or bad.
This empty feeling deep down inside can't seem to change.
It emerged from I-don't-know-since-when-very-long-ago and will floats out, out of a sudden.
I'll just feel very depressed and cries for nothing.
I hate it when people ask me to control my emotions.
It's extremely difficult to do so and usually people who ask me to control are no better themselves.
I do not think anyone can ever control their temper and keep cool, unless they are saint or god.
Then in that case they won't be here.
Patience and tolerance has its limits.
It's not like I don't control.
It's like I've already controlled and it hits the limits thus I burst.
Why can't people just understand?
I know I am short tempered and I personally feel I have improved at least.
Now that's a change.
I don't expect people to keep giving in to me or what but at least just leave me alone and stop those nagging and preaching.
I think everyone just need someone's attention.
And thus people yearn for love when they grow up.
So ya, I'm a attention seeking bitch when my parents can't be bothered with me.
Because I've nowhere to seek attention.
Those who are attached should just STFU. =)
It's not that I am that desperate but ya, just that I'm a attention seeking bitch, ok?
I don't see any wrong because I don't go flirting around outside.
"Controlling" might not be a good thing IMO.
It might be precisely the reason why I'm so short tempered.
Because I've controlled too much.
Buried too much things inside for years therefore will burst easily as it's easily overfilled.
-END OF EMO FOR NOW.-