Am so addicted to Ikimonogakari's songs today 
I especially love this lyric:
「翼はあるのに 飛べずにいるんだ ひとりになるのが恐くてつらくて」
It means "I'm here not able to fly even though I have wings. I'm afraid and it's tough to become alone"
(Something like that lah.)
Government always say, we must learn till we are old.
Some don't know who said life is a learning journey.
BUT.
Learning is expensive, did they ever mention that?
I fail my JLPT AGAIN!!
3rd attempt already... not really that heartbroken, cos' i was too busy to study also.
Maybe I deserve it lah....
BUT! Still, abit gek.
I got more than 60%.... Why do they set 70% to pass for L1!!!
And ya, I'm still not over my results on 2nd attempt. Freaking fail by 6points (1.5%)!!!!!
Now, I'm thinking whether to take the prep class.
Tomorrow will be my last lesson and will be moving on to the next level.
Which means.. course fees will increase 
I'd better find a really high-paying job. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE.
Look, if I continue everything its ok.
BUT, IF everything due in the same month:
Normal class: $370
Prep class: $350
Korean class: $321
TOTAL: $1041
*FAINTS*
Ahhh~ freaking hot again.
Am going to bath and tidy ABIT of my room and maybe start to do shukudai.
And think think think think think think think think think think think about the prep class... （ ´(ェ)｀）
OK, decided to continue abit. Suddenly.
Today I felt very tired.
I felt like quitting my part time job.
It's like, not only I'm tired.
The job de-moltivates me.
It's like even though I'm not working now, I feel very sian cos' I still gotta work in the evening.
Imagine when I was working, how de-moltivational it is.
People always goes TGIF and I go huh? wtf is that? Still gotta work at night...
I suddenly felt, I don't wanna work so hard.
Cos' I suddenly do not know why and what I work so hard for.
I suddenly felt what others say to me.
I should enjoy while I'm still young.
I am suddenly very lost.
Like WTF is passion? dreams? goals?
What is it for?
Well, the reason I ended up in a industry not of my interest is because of money.
Yes, I am very money faced. I'll do any job no matter how bored it is as long as the pay is high.
Of course not dirty jobs lah.
Maybe it's cos' of my father's influence.
Like when I grow up must earn alot of money.
Although I'm not very sure did he taught me that.
But I'm sure everytime he scold me for spending money.
Like taking cab, going to Japan, eating expensive (non-kopitiam) food.
I may sound infillial but I don't care.
I just wanna rant.
Today, I sort of quarrel with him.
We went to buy a new printer.
Then, there's a free gift laptop bag.
So the printer is heavy, I offer to take the laptop bag, but he don't let me take.
I insist and he insist, and he scratch my hand till red.
So I blame him for scratching my hand and he says his own always-right-phlilosophy.
Then while we were waiting for bus, he started to niam.
I was irritated cos my hand was still in pain.
He says the laptop bag for what, I also don't need it blah blah blah.
So I say, har nar har nar go and give to people for all you want lah.
Then he got angry.
BTW, I forgot to bring my phone when I went out.
He blamed me for being irresponsible and when I say it has nothing to do with responsibility he insist on his always-right-philosophy, and I say ya ya I'm the most irresponsible person in the world.
He says must say good things about me cannot say bad things blah blah.
Just one word.
UNREASONABLE.
I don't know why, but he always love to say how good other people are, how bad I am.
Am I really that bad?
Guess that's what lead to my low self confidence and low moral.
I mean, I don't expect him to think that I am the best like most parents do to their kids nowadays, but can't he give some encouragement for his own child? Or at least don't COMPARE with other people?
Like stop thinking I am the worse can?
Always saying I'm irresponsible, not hardworking, cannot take hardship, blah blah.
Am I not hardworking enough by taking 2 jobs? No Sundays, No TGIFs, No evenings for me??
I AM responsible, at least if I make a mistake I'd admit? When the work cannot be finish I'd stay back?
To tolerate crazy people for fucking 7 months mental torture is not hardship?
If I'm really THAT cannot take it I would have paid the bond and left right??
Who says hardship have to be in physical form???
And always say talk to me must see my mood.
OF COURSE LA. Anyone in bad mood would NOT be interested to joke right??
And he himself vent his anger in us too when he's in a bad mood.
Does he ever realize that?
Like never even joke with him, just talk to him only, or sometimes even worse, never even talk to him, he also wanna scold.
Always says he don't have this, don't have that.
Fact is? When he have it he became Santa Claus. After that whine that he don't have this that.
And say that I never give him money.
OK, I admit that I never give my parents money every month.
That's because my job is not stable and was still trying to recover my own savings from the unemployment period during recession.
But excuse me, when he says he's tight with money, I've given him don't know how many times of few hundred bucks each time.
I'm not complaining about the money I've given but I'm just kinda frustrated that sometimes he goes whining and whining that I never give him money.
Santa Claus also like to give away expensive things BTW.
I don't care about the "ppl treat me good so I must treat them good" thinking.
Like come on, being good to other ppl also have a limit right??
The kampong spirit has ended long ago.
In this society, everyone is selfish.
Who cares about whether you're noble or not?
I as a normal person dislike critisism and I don't really like compliments either.
I don't really think its not right to endulge in good food or take cab.
Travel to Japan every year.
I LOVE IT AND ITS MY MONEY THAT I EARNED.
Sometimes, I really hope to leave...
Ya, I always run away from problems and I don't find it any wrong.
I'm just not brave enough.
Anyway, will stop this entry here and go bath, else will get scolded AGAIN.