In my last few blogs, I have said that I have been setting up a few meetings with parents. So, today I will write about a few of them.
To start, I will tell you why I had these meetings.
I did write a blog about Parent B and her child; Lack of common-sense and no brains; please check this to get a better understanding of the events.
Parent B had a number of complaints and would always use "I am paying" and "other parents agree with me" as her defense. As I wrote in my blog, this Parent really played with my mind. This is why I had these meetings.
The first few meetings went well and gave me my sense of importance back, and I could put the Parent B issue behind me.
But, throughout the meetings I had some of the strangest requests and complaints that I never expected.
MEETING 1 ~ 8 These meetings went very well and every parent agreed and gave great feedback. These meets really put a bounce back in my step.
MEETING 9 This parent turned up ten minutes late and after my speech about how her child in performing in class she said the strangest thing.
"Are you dancing and singing in the classes?"
I said no, your child is in a class that is studying all the fundamentals of English; reading, writing and speaking.
She gave me the most strangest look of surprise ever, and said that she would like to have these in the lesson, as this is what they are offering in the Childs Kindergarten.
My response was that you took the trial lesson, saw the style and signed up. We only do sing and dancing in our mum and baby lessons.
She shrugged her shoulders and just said try your best. Try my best with what?!
Well, to tell the truth is meeting was not as terrible as I make it out to be. But, I am a bit shocked that her lack of interest is shocking.
MEETING 11 This parent turned up on time, and when she arrived she gave my wife (who is helping with my translation) the coldest look you could give. A look, that people give when you hate them.
This is the parent that said that she does not want to come to the meeting.
Throughout tell her what her child is like in the lesson, she would only give a robotic Yes, after Yes.
A bit about this parents child. This child comes in a group of three, and always screams and shouts when they arrive, running into the other peoples property and causing problems. When they enter the school they kick their shoes off everywhere and finely runoff to the toilet in a (wolf) pack.
We said to the parent that the screaming and shouting has to stop, as we have had a few complaints. This was followed by the robotic Yes!
After we finished she went straight on the offensive! She started to question what we are teaching him and that there is noway to follow his progress.
YES THERE IS!! We are offering end of term reports and, we had a parents open day at the end of last year. But, you did not bother coming!!!!
After we had finished up, she said that as long as he is behaving himself in the lessons then everything is OK!
What? Didnt you listen to anything we said to you? Come on you cant be that brain-dead!
That is the end of my rant, so I will leave it at that and let you readers think that one over for me.
Today I had one trial lesson booked, it involved three students and three parents.
First off, two students arrived a bit late and the last came ten minutes late. I invited them in and gave them all an application to fill out. I had to show them what to fill out, even though our application forms have large Astrix beside the important parts. A short guide is written below the contact box, so it shouldn't be too hard to work out what to do.
The trial lesson started off well but then it took a turn for the worse. The children became immensely difficult and wouldn't do as they where told. Through out the lesson I did more telling off then teaching!
At one point, I got up and asked the children to leave as they didn't want to sit down. I stood by the door and gave them a lecture in Japanese about what do they want to do.
I must add that when we have a trail lesson the parents are in the class. This is to help if they are too shy or too naughty.
On ratio, I did about 80% discipline and 20% teaching and all the parents did was sit and watch. I did hear the odd settle down, but it was so relaxed the children didn’t even hear it.
After the trail lesson, I went through any questions the parents might of had, and again the children ran around the classroom, touching everything and removing all the objects on my advisement stand.
I looked at the parents a few times to indicate I was upset, but no response from the parents. They where too busy reading through a small Q&A sheet I gave them. The noise was so high that these sheets wouldn't have taken their attention away for long.
After explaining, and telling these children to settle down, I guided them out to the entrance.
At our entrance, we have the no shoes policy and just above our shoe rack is the light switches for the hallway.
They played with all shoes and the light switches. At this point, I lost my patience and screamed at these little bleeders! I screamed at them for maybe five minutes, and in return, all I got was smiles.
I turned around to the parents and demanded they just leave, and take their little darlings with them!
As they left I got the weakest apologies ever!
When I closed the doors, I raged for about fifteen minutes to my wife. At that point, I lost all feeling of being a business owner, luckily no one could see me.
The lack of disrespect is beyond me, these people where guests here today. The parents and students were people I have never seen before, and it really makes my blood boil to think about it.
I would never act like that if I was in someone else house of place. If I did, I know I would have gotten a firm smack on the bum and a good scream at if I was naughty at that age.
This year was going to be the first time that we were going to write up year reports. I had lots of talks with my vice-manager about how we were going to report them. My opinion is that if your child is not performing well in the lesson then the parents should know about it. But, my vice-manager wanted to water them down for one reason and one reason only; Monster Parents.
Last month we added a small comment box to allow Parents to give some opinions about last years classes. We had a few comments, the majority from parents who had children around the ages of four to six.
I believed that we should talk to some of the parents face to face, for a better business relationship.
So, in the new letter we wrote in black bold letters that anyone who has children around the ages of four to six, had to ring to schedule an appointment.
Half of the requests came back, and days and times where booked. I will talk about a few of these in another blog.
We waited a week or two to see if the others would call or email, but they didn't.
So we rang them.
I do not understand if someone changes their telephone number or email address and does not tell you about it. If you have a business relationship with someone you should tell them, right?
Four out of six phone numbers and emails where no longer in use. It would not be much of a problem, as I have forgotten myself to provide new numbers to doctors and vets. But living in Japan and what has been happening in the last few days, EARTHQUAKES and TSUNAMIES, you would think that parents would like to have some communication in place for such events!
After fart-arcing about and getting numbers, we rang. First we said did you see our newsletter. We got, yes just now, and I was going to call you. And somewhere, I did get it, but I do not know when to call you.
One parent I know got the letter because I gave it to her in person. They did not ring. I called! She said I do not need an appointment, extremely stuck up and stubborn.
DID YOU NOT READ IT?!?!? IT SAID THAT YOU HAVE TO COME!!!
Another parent requested to accept the appointment at the end of NEXT month. We said it is coming to the end of the school year, and we would like to discuss your Childs progress, before the new school term starts. Here in Japan the new school year begins in April.
Her response was late, and finely after a long sigh she booked an appointment.
In my mind, if my child was attending a language school of some kind I would like to be kept in the know with his progress. Having a face to face conversation would be an enjoyable way to find out how he is getting a long.
Why do parents here seem to have an unusually relaxed way of thinking about their child's education?
These days and times have come and gone. In my next blog, I will talk about what we discussed and some of the strange requests I got.
This blogs relationship with my first blog is almost a year apart, but events for this one have been brewing for some time.
TODAYS BLOG; LACK OF COMMON SENSE AND NO BRAINS Parent B has been attending English School for over a year, and Child B is around the age of 6. To describe child B`s attitude all I can say is a six year old with the terrible twos.
Like my first blog, Parent B had an enormous issue with our termination of our make up lessons. Two days after the newsletter was issued Parent B called, and demanded to know why I stopped issuing make up lessons. She said that child B had sports day on one of the lesson days, and demanded that we give him a make up lesson. Nicely we refused, and she demanded that we tell her which she should attend, sports day or English lesson. Nicely I said its up to you and we can not answer for you. In the end to get her off the phone, we gave her one last make up lesson.
Throughout the year, Parent B has been complaining, and her excuse is always I am paying.
We had our first speech contest and asked all students to learn and practice their speeches in School and at home.
On speech contest day, we had a variety of very good students to very bad. Child B tried his best but could say his name and a small portion about what food he likes. Again we did tell everyone to practice at home.
After a full day, of judging a teacher and I went over the results and announced the winners. Child B did not do well and did not even reach the top ten. But due to having many students attend we gave out some certificates and chocolates, which everyone seemed to enjoy more than the trophies.
Believing every thing went well I sat down at my desk and turned the computer on, to check the school emails, and to my surprise there was an email from Parent B.
The first paragraph said that her child was extremely upset that he didn't win and that we should have held it on a time she was not working. Finely she finished with I am paying so don't do it again!
With my best business typing hands, I replied saying that we had it on a Saturday to suit everyones schedule. But, guess what she said? I am paying!
Between that time and until now Child B has had some tantrums in the lesson, and its taken Parent B to drag him out at the end of the lesson. This has happened a few times, and Child B disrupted the last 15 minutes of some lessons.
We always get the same email or phone call, what happened to give my child have a tantrum? what did you do in forms of punishment? And how can you fix this in the future? I am paying!!
TEACH YOUR CHILD TO BEHAVE CORRECTLY!!!
In the last three months, Child B has forgotten to complete his homework and even though I try and ask the child to do he does not seem to understand. I put this down to children being children. So emails had been sent to Parent B asking to check and help if needed.
At the beginning, Parent B wanted a meeting, and her excuse for her child not writing or doing his homework was because he was left handed.
Yes, I agree that writing is difficult if you are left handed, and the English writing system is left to write. But, to use that as an excuse is beyond me.
MY FATHER IS LEFT HANDED AND HE MANAGES FINE!!
Parent B demanded that I give her my wife's personnel email address, again her request was followed by the famous, I am paying quote. I said no and that we have a school email if your would like that kind of communication.
Our School offers several forms of communication, telephone, email, written, and the new online scheduling.
Getting more closer to events that have just happened Child B still continued not to do his homework, so emails where sent. Two months passed, and Child B continued to come empty handed, and once again emails where sent.
After a while, Parent B called and said that she felt that we had been ignoring her. She wanted to quit due to believing that her Child was unable to speak fluent English. Let me remind you that Child B has only been with us for over a year. Nowing that she was going to leave, we offered that she come for a meeting to explain what ever misunderstanding we may have had.
My philosophy is that if someone wants to leave we don't decline and that we try to finish with the better feeling.
We scheduled for a quick meeting at 2pm and said that, at 3pm, we had another meeting. Parent B came 20 minutes late and didn't want to leave!
I wrote a letter, as well as speaking, stating that the thought of no contact was on both our parts, as I should have called if I believed you didn't get my emails. A way to clear the air and to get on to the main topic.
Parent B refused my sharing of responsibility and went onto wanting to know why Child B couldnt speak English. Another excuse that Parent B liked, was if only MrX could speak better Japanese then I could have called or spoken to him direct.
Lastly she demanded that Child B tell her the perfect grammar of something in English in his native tongue Japanese. The child couldn't do it, and she turned and said "see MrX he cant speak English"!
Again with the not doing homework, and not wanting to write in class the parent said that it was too early for him to learn how to write, and said writing time can he do his own thing.
We asked her if she received our emails to her mobile and computer. She replied saying that her mobile was blocked from receiving computer emails and that she has not checked her computer email for a long time. Then finally ending with the last time she checked it had over 200 emails in her inbox.
With the other meeting, about to begin we ended our meeting with Parent B believing that she understood everything, showing printouts of emails with times and dates on them, and finally asking if she wanted another day and time to stop. He rejected.
Two days passed, and another call came saying that Parent B wanted another meeting as her husband had his own opinion to the email charade. We excepted, and at this point, my impression was split to kick them out or let them continue to the end of the month.
On the day of the meeting Child B had a lesson and guess what he threw a tantrum! This was due to me trying to help him with his writing, he hid himself under the table and stayed until the class ended. I tried many forms of punishment and even asked fellow students to try and call him out.
In the end, it took Parent B to come to the class and once again drag him out. I must add that Parent B was 15 minutes late, and I had another class waiting!
That was the last straw and knocked my tip to asking them to leave now!
In the evening, Parent B came with her entire family for her meeting. I believed it was an appointment for her husband to give his opinion, but the woman spoke all of the time.
In this meeting, I had my wife translate and help with the difficult stuff.
Again the meeting started off with the no communication and you could have called me, blah, blah! Parent B went onto to saying that if only MrX could speak Japanese better than we would not be here today. No matter how many times I said that my wife is the receptionist and that we have multiple forms of communication she would not accept.
Also, it came back to demanding that Child B do no writing in the lesson and just English speaking. I said that what you are getting is our style and that you agreed when you took our trial lesson and joined.
After 40 minutes of her complaining, cant remember everything because I started to tune out. I said that after today tantrum and trying to change the schools style to suit your own you have to leave. I also said we are not a daycare center and if I had a bigger school and more employees then maybe we could have handled it - being nice!
The look on Parent B`s face was a expression of shock and outrage. She turned to her husband and said "can you hear what MrX is telling us what to do?"
After this point, the conversation went so sideways that it did not even make sense anymore, Parent B started to say that Child B was not using the traditional Japanese at Kindergarten and only referring to things in English, and what can we do about it?
I am sorry, but I think your first point of dispute was that Child B was not learning English!
Finally, we got Parent B to accept that we no longer wanted her around anymore and that it was time to finish up the meeting - 2 hours after the fact!
She finished asking that if Child B fixes his tantrum issues could she come back! At this point, my heart dropped, and I kindly said that if he does, and if YOU can accept our style then maybe (NOT).
It was the end I was brain dead and to finish up we said the Japanese famous thank you for coming, and best of luck in your future studies in English. But, before I could finish had the door slammed in my face!!! We had a business relationship for one year!!!!
This is the most strangest meeting I have ever had in my life, and I cant decide who is wrong here! Was I too harsh with her child and them?
First I will tell you a bit about me. My name is MrX, and I own an English School in K. Please see my bio to identify the individual tagging.
I have been living in Japan for over four years now, and I opened my English School two years ago. I have a number of employees ranging from teachers, managers and receptionists. Well to tell the truth my wife is the receptionist.
Our School ground is not so large, so we don`t have many teachers on site as they are on a rota system. Most of the time I am in the office doing manager and owner stuff, but I do find time to teach a lesson.
My student body is standard size and growth is climbing at a good speed.
Throughout my blogging, I will referee to students and parents as A,B and C. For example; Parent A, Student B and so on.
When I came to Japan, I found my first job teaching children at a local Kindergarten and loved it. After that, I worked for a large chain school and managed to develop up the ladder to management. As with anyone who is working at this level, putting in time and working your arse off for someone else makes you wonder. So, I started my own School.
At the beginning, I never thought that I would have to deal with such insensitive and lack of common-sense people. Was I so wrong!
TODAYS BLOG; MAKE UP LESSONS With any business, you start off a bit unsure how to treat people and you begin to accept every request that is thrown at you, BIG MISTAKE!!
At the beginning, we did make up lessons, but a few parents and students took advantage of this offer. One months scheduled lessons would consist of one fixed lesson and the rest would be make ups.
We explained that we could only offer make up lessons on days and times that were available.
In the end, it got to difficult to manage, and we temporary suspended the make up lesson option. It was unexpected, and at the end of the month, we advertised in our monthly newsletter. I believed that this might not go down well and that maybe a few students would leave. Which one did.
But, I never believed that one parent would go as far as to threaten the School. Parent A was so distraught that she called the school and demanded her money back or else.
We had a 12 hour rule that if your going to be absent and want a make up lesson you had to call before this time frame. Well Parent A phoned 20 minutes before the lesson and told us that her children where sick and couldn't come.
The next week she asked for a make up lesson, and we declined stating the 12 hour rule and that from today all make up lessons where being suspended.
At the time, she didn't seem to be too cut up about it. But late in the evening, when the school was closed the emails came. Parent A stated that she only joined the school because we offered make up lessons, and we had no right to do what we where doing.
For one month Parent A would write saying she was going quit and suddenly change her mind. So for one month, we had mixed messages. Being new and trying my best, I said why don't you stay and wait for the end of year events as she paid the yearly event money, and if she goes she would miss out. Her reply she would wait until the end of the month to make up her mind.
And the end of the month came and she went, I did the thank you for coming and wish you the best for your future studies in English. Believing that was the end of it, I closed the door and books on that issue.
Thats when the calls came!
One thing that I advise school owners not to do is have your school telephone number directed to you home phone.
As I stated above, my wife is the receptionist and she had to deal with Parent A screaming and shouting down the line demanding her money back. My wife held her ground and stated the school rules over and over again. This conversation went for over one hour, and in the end my wife had to just hang up.
I was tired for her even though I did nothing. Suddenly the phone rang and it was Parent A again, but this time it was the husband. He demanded money back and used a lot of bad language. Once again my wife held her ground and stayed strong.
You might ask where was I and why didn't I take over the call. Well first my Japanese is not at the level to do business and I was taking care of our two sons.
The conversation with Parent A progressed down to the level that he threatened to hand flyers outside our school, stating that we are a doggy company and still peoples money.
The mother took the phone again and said sorry for her husbands language, but still demanded her money back. After a while, she just gave up and shouted down the phone that she didn't understand, and hanged up.
We never got another call after that!
To this day I still dont understand the last statement, what does she mean? "I dont understand". Can anyone comment on this and tell me if I was wrong or was this women really crazy!
My next blog will be about Parent B and the uncontrollable child. にほんブログ村
