Today i went back to the doctor,,, he said i injured my back
Conclusion since 2007
1 : Patient is status post L5/S1 decompression Laminectomy with posterior fixators.
2 : At L4-5 new central disk protrusion mildly stenosing the lateral recesses and central canal
3 : At L5-S1 recurrent central and left central disk protrusion which mildly impinge the left S1 nerve root.
New annulus fibrosus tear.
i was like... huh..zzzzz
but for now it's okay.. but i am afraid that i will need to go for another operation in the future, i am not sure about it but i have to take care of myself and stop straining my back, sooner or later i will be afraid of going to the doctors. LOL! after operation still can get injured and it might become worst i guess
i hate my life the only thing i like doing now is cosplay. i cant go run, play sports anymore cos i have to take care of my back... i'm so young yet like a uncle already,,,,, i hate it.
LIFE SUDDENLY changed, it got better but the pain is there,,, saying things is easy but you wont know how much we actually feel, and the pain can make me lose 4kg within 12 days, and sleep for around 4-6 hours a day, then auto wake up,
i like to play sports, and outdoor sometime i am lazy but now i admire people who can do that, and people WHO are able to sleep within 5 mins, zzzzz for me i have to turn around.. probably 30 mins to 2 hours, before i can sleep.. so what can i say or do? i still have to live on right?
infact this time round the pain made me depress and i nearly snap too, because of stresss,, but who cares right? injured my back might not be serious to you but to me IT IS, it is my life now i am suffering next time i should be prepared for the worst no? since this time the pain was BAD enough to make me unable to eat and sleep most of the time. and i had a operation on my back..
if you have strain your back you feel the pain or what, My pain + strain all that = Kill all my mood at once, i can train myself to be a M .. hmmm
i really dont know what to do.. what if i cannot walk in the future.. i dont think i will be able to take it. i am not strong sorry. this is me. i am a weak person now. right?
for now i pray things will get better, and it has been a month plus since i have been resting at home.. i wonder how long will i take to be okay.. omg.. stress and the pain... I'm trying not to take pain killer since i have been taking for around 4 years already it's time i should stop if not when i'm older .... more things will happen .......
okai will be stopping here, i need rest ..
