I'm not sure whether any of this will actually work, but for the last few weeks I've done some heavy thinking and came to conclusion:
I want to be a doctor. I want to study medicine so hard, I won't give up. Even though I already lost 4 years. I still have plenty. But unfortunately to do this, I still need to improve my results of matura exam. It'll take a long time.
So the plan's like this:
1. Actually graduate my current specialization - one profession in the pocket is better than none! Unluckily this is my last year, which means: a) very big and hard final exam and b) writing and defense of the Bachelor thesis. Because of this I'm really really afraid I won't have enough time to learn for matura... which leaves:
2. Make a passport till the end of September; then get a visa to the USA (!) while I'm still a student; and pray I'll get it and get it for more than half a year (stupid Americans, why Poland is the only country with visa, it's so stupid, why, you have no other way of making money than at the expense of poor Poles?)
3. It's just an option, but after BA thesis defense, which will take place in July or September, I have more than half a year to do something with my life, besides learning of course. I can stay here, at my parents' house, get some job. But I could also take a trip. To do that I need to have money first, of course, but this is why I'm thinking about traveling to the USA. My auntie lives there, so I could stay at her place. I could take care of her kids, so it would kinda count as a job, I wouldn't be just slacking off. This is why I need point 2., getting visa and such. I've been thinking bout it ever since my sister went there on the same conditions. Who knows, maybe it would work for me too??
4. And the final point - getting back in May 2016 (or just living through to that day, if any of my plan won't even work), take a makeup exam from biology and chemistry, do my best... and fucking pass to medicine!! Actually, dentistry also would be fine. More fitting, even, as I'm studying dental technology right now. But...
You know, the day I didn't get to medicine was the day I realized this is my vocation; this is what I need to do in life if I want a happy life. And yes, I do want it.
So that's why all the plans, all the fuzz. So I can live to my destiny. And be happy, I guess.
Wish me luck. I'll need plenty of it.
nattu
