I am 19 years old and underweight. Right now I am trying to lose more weight. It's not an obsession that controls my life or anything, it's just something I do. I work in front of a webcam for at least 2 hours everyday and have to look at my body naked. When I'm faced with it's flaws being exposed to not just my own eyes, but hundreds and sometimes THOUSANDS of other eyes watching me it makes me self concious.
People tell me I'm beautiful. The always point out my eyes especially. I have started to hate my eyes because that's the first thing anyone compliments. I want people to be jealous of my body and admire it. I want a body that will be envied and people will stare in awe of it on the streets.
I would like to loose around 12-15 more pounds in order to be happy with myself. My boyfriend doesn't agree at all but this is for me not for him and I think deep down he will appreciate the way it will look when he sees it. I don't want to look sickly or anorexic just very, very thin. It's the only thing holding me back in life. If I get skinny then I will have everything. I could even become a model. Everything will be perfect if I do this.