ambivalence

Why do you everytime confuse me so tactfully?
With just one short e-mail...

No matter whether I response it or not, I'll be confused completely.
What a suck!

Finally I decided to response it.
I wanna see you but I also don't wanna see you.

That's an ambivalence.


Even I feel I don't wanna have an e-mail response from you.

I was happy before you gave me an e-mail.
You're the one to blame!

Never distract me

Every day I am distracted by a feeling that I wanna be loved by someone.
Even though I know I have things more important than it for me for now.

But I realized, I DON'T WANNA LET SOMEONE CONTROL MY LIFE!

Yeah, someone said "Love's the greatest thing" and I think love's good thing.
However, It's not the best thing in the world.
I don't need things distract me into a wrong way, even if it's love.

My theory: love's good and it can decorate your life, but you have to abandon it if it turned to be an obstacle on your way because it's not your life itself.

People's definition of love is different I know.
Either definition of life is.

I don't force my theory but this is my way of thinking.

Now I'm gonna head to important things.
See you.

anxiety

My friend has happy life now, I heard.

She said that the way she wanted to go, and she chose, was the best way.
She's enjoying her life.

On the other hand, I'm working today in a hotel.
Wanna quit and run for my desirable life.
Why can't I live my life the way I wanna live?


Sooooo tirrrreeeeed...




Now I'm havin' a break.

2 hours later, have to work again.



Is this situation what I wanted?

Amulet

I hadn't have faith in amulets and suchlike things.

Always had believed only myself.

However I bought a bracelet and now I'm countin' on it.
These days have been through hard times.
Hate everyone. Hate myself.

Nothing's going well and so boughtit.
Maybe this is the reason why people need this kind of items,
They, I mean WE, need fortune.

Fortune for love and achievement.
I WANT BOTH OF THEM.

Everyday I put on my bracelet and make a wish.
believing something's gonna be better...

The beginning

Just decided to start keeping a diary.

I'm not going to write my personal information. Gonna be complete anonymous.
As an undergraduate, have to study every day. Also as a proper grown-up, have to work every day.
Not gonna much fun, nor much boring.

I have a dream, but I'm not showing it now.
Someday, achieving it, I will recall the days I struggled in the past, and that's when this diary will be a kinda biography I cherish.



Today is the beginning of my career.

It's quite short as an entry for a diary but it's OK.
That's the way beginnings always are.

cu next time.


A