Life-changing encounter

It took about 6 months or so until my viral load became “undetectable” since started taking medicines.

T cells were still relatively low (between 300 and 350), but stable.

Actually, my T cells might have been on a lower spectrum in the first place.

Even now, my T cell counts are between 400 and 500.

But I don’t rely too much on numbers anyway.

I will talk about this issue later on.

Anyway, more important thing is how I really feel.

Anyhow, I was relieved that the meds seemed to be working for me.

One day, a friend of mine visited me, and stayed at my place for a few days.

She showed me a recipe book.

Looking back, it was my life changing moment.

It was a Macrobiotic cook book, written by Michio Kushi, with lots of beautiful photos of healthy and delicious looking dishes.

First, I was just skimming all those pictures.

But what caught my attention later was a brief description of the ideas of Macrobiotics, or “how everyday eating affects our health in so many ways”.

Here is the excerpt from the book.

“Macrobiotics is a way of eating and living that has been practiced for thousands of years by many people around the world. It stems from an intuitive understanding of the orderliness of nature. Modern macrobiotic philosophy focuses on offering a way of living that closes the widening gap between humans and the natural world, Macrobiotic theory suggests that sickness and unhappiness are nature’s way of urging us to adopt a proper diet and way of life, and that these troubles are unnecessary when we live in harmony with our environment. The macrobiotic diet is based on whole grains and traditional foods in harmony with the seasons….”

For some reason, it just made complete sense to me.

I had been eating almost vegetarian for the past few years, doing yoga, and studying Ayurveda and so on and so forth.

And even though I was feeling better than before, somehow I felt “something was missing”.

Some “structure” or “core” or “foundation”….

Ayurveda was good, but it was a bit too complicated, and I thought “why just being healthy has to be so complex?” and it requires lots of unfamiliar foods and ingredients and spices.

It may be natural for people in South Asia, but why everybody has to eat Indian foods?

And vegetarian.

“Am I really taking all the necessary nutrition?”

Wherever I look, they say “vegetarians lack some important nutrients such as proteins, vitamin B12, etc etc etc…” and those claims made me uneasy.

And besides, why was I still constantly catching a cold?

But this Macrobiotic stuff.

Eating in harmony with seasonal cycles. (hey, that’s my mom always used to say!)

Follow our own traditional way of eating.

And eat variety of foods.

Something familiar.

Something my mother used to make for us.

Something I grow up with, and I feel so at home….

And there is a structure here.

Whole grains as principal foods, variety of seasonal vegetable, supplemented by beans, sea vegetables, fruits, nuts/seeds, soups, maybe some fish etc etc.

It may not the typical American diet, but when we look at the traditional diets around the world, people have been eating more or less this way.

And since we started to eat this “modern diet”, completely lacking “foundation”, out of harmony with nature and seasonal cycles, or “chaotic” way of eating, so called “modern diseases” have widespread.

Well then, I thought, it’s worth trying!

It’s not that complicated.

The recipe sounds simple, too.

So I started to take this new (or old) path toward health.

That was about 6 years ago.

Feeling "empty", feeling fabulous!

One of the many things I love about eating healthy is that I have a great bowel movement every morning.

I don’t even remember last time I didn’t have one for a day.

And most of the time, it’s a quick, smooth action.

I used to be one of those who stack magazines and books in the bathroom.

But now, I don’t need them!

Well, I sort of miss those days, because it was such a peaceful, relaxing “me-time”.

Anyhow...

Especially when I successfully “eliminate” a lot, I can feel my colon becomes so empty , literally, and I feel soooooooo good.

So good that I start dancing with joy!

I believe that this is thanks to my diet centered around whole grains, especially brown rice.

When I say “whole grains”, by the way, I do not include “whole grain bread” or “whole grain pasta”.

Those, I considered, are “whole grain products”.

Don’t get me wrong, those are healthier than white, refined counterparts, too.

But they are different than intact form of whole “cereal” grains such as brown rice, barley, millet, whole wheat, whole oat etc etc.

Anyway, among other super nutrients that they contain such as vitamins and minerals, whole grains have lots of fibers on the outer layers.

Refined grains such as white rice, those fibers are stripped off along with other important nutrients.

And studies and studies have shown that fiber-rich diet reduce the risk of heart diseases, diabetes, and some cancers such as colon cancer.

Above all, fibers help eliminate lots of toxins from our body!

So it can’t be bad.

Colon cancer is still a leading cause of death in this country.

And it’s said that it is related to the low fiber diet.

Think about it.

Especially when you eat a lot of meat, which has almost no fiber, once inside the body where the temperature is about 98 degree and humidity is high, no ventilation, they start to rot, right?

And without decent amount of fiber which helps them eliminate from the colon, they stay there, and start to release toxic gas, and the blood becomes dirty, too!

The residue of rotten meat stick to the wall of the colon because they cannot get out, and more toxic gas released.

In fact, meat eaters colons are so narrowed with those “residues”, just like the blood vessels and arteries narrowed by saturated fat and cholesterol, that the constipation worsens.

it’s a vicious cycle!

It’s a simple rule.

We have to eliminate what we take in.

So eat more whole grains, and vegetables!

Feel this “emptiness” in the colon!

I bet you start dancing, too!

What was I thinking? Careless sex

Every weekend, I would go to gay bars at night, get drunk, meet new people, and have sex, then come back next morning.

There is no excuse for my action, but this was my way of “defusing” all the stress I was having.

The working condition was extremely stressful.

I was not “out” to anybody, suppressing my sexual desire, couldn’t talk about it, and under societal pressure to “settle down” eventually.

In fact, I was dating with a woman.

To me, having anonymous sex was so exciting, stimulating, and “liberating”.

Personally, I didn’t like (still don’t) anal sex.

So mainly my sexual action was oral, which I LOVED.

But I liked guys to cum either on my face or in my mouth.

And sometimes, I enjoyed swallowing.

Can you imagine how dangerous it is?

Obviously, the more sex partners you have, especially “anonymous”, the more risk you have to contact with the virus.

Or any STD.

How can one deny that I had it coming myself when my eating habit was so poor, (thus my immune was weak), and sex life was so careless?

But I didn’t even think about it.

I could not see it at that time.

I had such a poor judgment.

In fact, poor eating habit affects the ability of your judgment, and overall mental health, too.

And that makes sense.

Because what you eat makes blood, and thus cells, tissues, organs including nerves and brain.

What you eat has a great influence on you not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically as well.

Especially the most important nutrient for the brain is good carbohydrates, glucose.

If you are constantly supplying poor quality of nutrients, (or not supplying good glucose at all),your brain eventually starts working poorly, too, since it does not get adequate energy for its healthy function.

Poor eating habit causes poor judgment.

And that’s exactly what I was doing.

Now I’m eating much more healthily, and I can see things more clearly.

And I really want to say, “What was I thinking???”