Gone too far..

It feels like I'm going too far from my past.
I used to feel the same way as you think, but I don't feel the same
way anymore.

'Cuz, I've been here for 2 months.
I don't study as you study.

I feel like I'm loosing something.

I don't even think about my future.
I'm always running away from my future and college.

I don't know what I want to be.
When I was asked about my future, I always said "MTV", yes that's cool
but, I don't know the reason why I want to work at MTV.

Some people say, "You don't have to decide the future right now. But,
you have to prepare for your future."

I think that's right.

'Cuz, that's what we're studying for.

The education of Japan and that of United States is totally different.
That's why I'm kinda confused.

I'm going to college in here or Japan?

I hate myself so much.
Why I'm so lazy?
I'm always wondering about it.
Why I can't be strict to me!!!

My friends in Japan are all decided what college they want to go.

Me?

I have no idea.

Maybe, Jochi.
The reason why I like Jochi is just a name.
This sounds really cool to me.

Don't you think it's ridiculous?

I'm always special because my mom tries so hard.
I really appriciate it. But, that makes me weak.
I have to get up from this situation all by myself.

I'm sorry, I can't stop complaining.

I don't need help.
Just leave me.

I decide what I want to do.

Prepare for growing.

HOPE

by now, i was always looking for hope.
and i realized that hope is not suppose to come to me, i make hope to come to me.
i mean i have to try something to call hope.

i don't know why, but i'm so lazy.
i have to change me through this trip.

but, i always rely something.
i don't think i'm growing up.

i don't know what to do.

seriously.

tell me.

Shut up!

so?

If you said to me again, you know what?
I will never forgive you.

You really pissed me off.

Shut your mouth up!!

So?

Like so what?

Kidding me.