so

I'll explain everything here

everything

so last week thursday I went to photograph Louise but I found my friend from Spain, Yusuke.

She came over to visit me and she gave me some late birthday presents

a lovely bag, a cup, hair clips, a pencil, phone charms, highchew and some other stuff

so I was happy (＝⌒▽⌒＝)

untill yesterday

I actually used my bag outside the house

and the idiot sandeep ripped it...beyond fixing

I'd have been fine because it was partly my fault if he didn't laugh like he did

everything is a fucking joke to him

I treasure what I recieve and the fact she came over from spain as well...its irreplacable

Amii, my sister said 'he is very possesive over someone that isn't his'

like on monday franchessca was like 'I know a guy you might like, he is korean english cute' and so on

I was nice and talked to sandeep about it and his back went up and he started on his whole 'why oriental people, they ain't good at anything blah blah blah'

like seriously wtf

do I deserve this

maybe its my fault

i was warned not to be so nice because it just causes problems and clinginess later on

I don't want this

I can't handle this right now

I don't even hae anything to look at to be on the bright side

I always have something

something

that keeps my anger down

but i can't find that right now

and I don't want to attack someone

because I've held so much in for so long

that I may really hurt someone

I just want An cafe to hurry up

my old friends

away from all this shit

away from everything

I can be me

people understand me

no one says shit about me

I'm accepted and loved there

its what I need right now

fly to the sky arrest

먼지처럼 내 안 가득히 쌓인 너
떼어지지 않는 오랜 니 기억들
매일 비울수록 다시 고여와
멀리 보낼수록 다시 밀려와
지친 맘 두 번 지치게 해

Because of you, Because of love
슬픔에 갇혀버린 난
달아나고 달아나도 그 자린걸
다신 널 찾지 못하게
기억 저편 먼 곳으로
떠나버려
가버려
제발

낙서처럼 가슴 곳곳에 새겨져
지워지지 않는 아픈 니 흔적들
돌아서려거든 다가오지마
돌려주려거든 가져가지마
이제와 왜 맘 다치게 해

Because of you because of love
슬픔에 갇혀버린 난
달아나고 달아나도 그 자린걸
다신 널 찾지 못하게
기억 저편 먼 곳으로
떠나버려
가버려
제발

너 라는 사람의 품에만
그 손끝 그 향기에만
길들여진 나는 이제
이제 난 어떡해

보고 싶어 보고 싶어
이렇게 매일 눈물만

잊지 못해 잊지 못해
가슴엔 깊은 상처만
날이 가고 달이 가도 낫지
너만이 할 수 있는 일
나를 가둔 슬픔에서
날 구해줘 꺼내줘
제발
날 지켜줘 안아줘
제발

Translation

Piled up like dust in my heart
Are the irremovable memories of you
As the daily rain, it gathers again
It pushes back as far as I send it
It exhausts my weary heart again

Because of you, Because of love
I who am trapped in sadness
I escape, I run away but here I remain
So that I can never look for you again
To that far away place
Go away my memories
Leave…
I beg you

Like graffiti you are inscribed everywhere in my heart
The inerasable traces you left behind
If you are only going to leave me don’t come any closer
If you are only going to return my heart don’t take it
Why have you come now to only hurt me?

Because of you, Because of love
I who am trapped in sadness
I escape, I run away but here I remain
So that I can never look for you again
To that far away place
Go away my memories
Leave…

I beg you

Only in your arms
Your fingertips adn your scent
I’ve grown accustomed to only you
What do I do now?

I want to see you, I want to see you

Only my tears everyday

I can’t forget, I can’t forget
The deep scars in my heart
Days may pass, moons may pass but I don’t get any better
There is something that only you can do
From the cage of my sadness
Save me, rlease me
Please…
Protect me, Hold me
I beg you

Randomism

my random question today is

Have you ever seen a midget and a donkey fight

So my answer is

No sadly

but that would be pretty cool though(≡^∇^≡)

Like it'd be like watching a small dog and a big dog fight

just more interesting

Then I was asked who my money would be on

I'm saying the Midget

Because seeing dogs fight....the smaller one always wins because it can get to the right places

Pretty random today

but I enjoyed the question weirdly

made me think